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one for the nuns in the house
nun 1 and nun 2 were walking back from a town near their convent one day when they noticed a very large man with a VERY large bulge in his pants following them. they quickly decide to split up so only one of them can be caught, and begin to run. nun 1 quickly outdistances nun 2 and makes it safely back to the convent. nun 2 arrives a few minutes later.
nun 1: what happened?
nun 2: well, i knew he was going to catch me, so i did the only thing i could....i turned around and lifted up my dress.
nun 1: oh no!! what did he do?
nun 2: he dropped his pants around his ankles.
nun 1: dear lord, did you get-?
nun 2 (interrupting): nope, a nun with her dress up can run WAY faster than a man with his pants down
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