Lebell, your doing great for the team, I'll try to give you a few moments of relief!!
Guys, the most poignant fact of the crucifixion of Christ is that HE could have stopped it. At any time, at any juncture in the process, he could have merely wished it to cease (angels from Heaven, etc.).
THIS is why it was momentous. He allowed this to occur FOR us! It's not just the acts, but it's his forbearance that gives this act the deep meaning that we lay upon it!
The torture is the choice.
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The sad thing is... as you get older you come to realize that you don't so much pilot your life, as you just try to hold on, in a screaming, defiant ball of white-knuckle anxious fury
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