Monday morning we all need a laugh, here as some smutty doble entendres
"Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."
Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open
"Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."
Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports
"Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."
Jack Burnicle muses over Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World Superbike racing
"Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."
Winning Post's Stewart Machin on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead
"Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."
Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond
"With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."
Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hits a single during a Durham v Lancashire, inspiring Bobby Simpson to lose himself briefly
"What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Rubens
Barrichello?"
James Allen asks intimate questions of Ralf Schumacher
"Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."
Steve Ryder gets dirrty at the US Masters
"They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from
different positions."
Willie Carson shed light on how jockeys prepare for a big race
"One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God!!!!! What have I just said?!"
A landmark in television history when a golf commentator realises he is about to be sacked
"And there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs andshowing his class."
David Coleman heaps praise at the Montreal Olympics
"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field"
Metro Radio's reporter struggles to hide his contempt for West Ham
"Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing
the Cox of the Oxford crew."
Harry Carpenter encourages rival interaction at the 1977 Oxford-Cambridge boat race
"This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother." Racing
Commentator Ted Walsh gets all nostalgic
"Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him." A New Zealand Rugby Commentator horrifies the television audience
"And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing."
Weightlifting commentator Pat Glenn offers unexpected personal praise to the Bulgarian
