Does it really have to be all or nothing? I mean, are you dating her right now? If not, that's what you should do. You're under no obligation to help her support her family if you're just seeing each other. She probably wouldn't want that support in that case.
You mentioned not being able to do better than the kids' father.... Look at it like this: you might not be able to do better for her or her kids financially, but I daresay you can do better for them emotionally. If you can't give with your wallet, you can give with your heart. THAT'S support you know she'd be glad for.
Age is all made up. lurkette is a year and a half older than me. Means nothing. And if you're thinking marriage, I promise you your agendas aren't as far apart as you think.
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