Paq

Dude..been there. I used to work tech support for an ISP...actually 3 of them, but anyway...

One of the ISP's i worked for was a family owned local business that was pretty prosperous. We had a crew of like 8 techs total, 4/3 on shift and one guy for third. Anyway, my gf at the time would call to talk to me bc we were dead most of the time. She would call, though, and the call would go to whomever was next in que for the support line, so they would talk to her for a few and transfer over to me. Anyway, i noticed that she would talk to this one guy a little longer and longer and would sometimes ask me to transfer her over to him for a few bc she had something to tell him. Anyway, i thought nothing of it bc the guy had his child and a bitch of an ex wife and he was going to live with her soon. No biggie...

So some time passes and i see this guy talking to one of my exes online and i'm like, "cool, you know her, she's cool, we used to date, but we're friends now" etc....Well, the ex and i have a hard time keeping things platonic, which isn't a problem when both of us are single....

Anyway, my gf at the time hated this ex and constantly thought i was cheating on her. The ex adn i chatted all the time and we flirted, but nothing more than "Oo, you're cute" etc. So this dickwad sends the chat log that he doctored to my gf. She doesn't tell me and she's just acting all weird...

so anyway, time passes, we end up splitting up in a....pretty not so nice way...and one day, we're in O'Charley's having dinner (the gf and i, i mean, except she's the ex now) and we're talking and she procedes to tell me how she was fucking the guy for the last 2-3 months of our relationship...So here I am sitting in O'charleys about to go ghetto on her ass (more like throw plates across the place and storm out) and she's sitting htere all smug talking about his size and how he just wham/bam/thank you ma'am hardcore style fucking her, getting into detail. I think i blacked out everything after that, but i was pretty quiet and didn't say much, other than "Oh, that's nice" and we didn't speak much after that.

I don't think i've ever been so mad at someone before. It was like saying, "oh, i just used you for whatever and this guy was my lover on the side." OOoo, i think about it and...actually i'm not mad about it anymore, but i remember at the time, i could have killed the guy bc he was just using her. I was the one that went through over a year's time with therapy, counselling, etc with her bc of her abusive ex bf and here's this guy just doing exactly what the ex did...ooo, that pissed me off...
then, he leaves and she sleeps with like half of my friends from my first ISP job, so about 10 or so total in about a couple months.

and yeah, i felt a bit betrayed bc i totally believed her when she said nothing was going on, when she was with me and when she was out. I had no problems at all, i even encouraged her to go out with friends, to go have fun bc she'd really been abused before and never had the chance. And then it all came down to "Oh, lemme fuck this guy...and this guy...and this guy...and this guy" ad nauseum.

but really, after about 3 weeks of the initial shock of having been totally fucked over by the girl, i moved on and didn't really think much about it. Over time, it just didnt' matter as much anymore and we can talk like humans now, but we only do so every often. Last i heard, she went ot New Jersey to be with a guy she was talking to online...She caused him to have ot go through a pretty rough divorce and he caused her to miss out on Harvard law....soo now she's a stripper trying to capture all the attention i guess she missed out on..

Ok ok, ok, sorry for threadjacking, but yeah, therapeutic release is good.

My advice: Let it go, really, just avoid confrontations with her, avoid anything more than casual contact, and push aside all the good times and hte bad times you had. She only exists as a shell of what she was to you. Truthfully, it's better you found out after 3 yrs instead of 30..

Seriously, though, i wouldnt' even consider her as a friend. Gotta ask yourself if you need friends that untrustworthy...I know my life is too busy to have to worry about who i can and cant' trust anymore...

Goodluck and dont' ever forget about karma. Also, truthfully, from the middle of your post on, it seems like you two just weren't going to stay together but she seems like she didn't want to dump you until she had an option available..And don't forget, before you do anything drastic, it's only been a month and you're allowed to be angry, it's just what you do with the anger that really matters.

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Live.

Chris