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Here's the easiest solution:
1: Find a high-crime area where cars routinely disappear
2: Remove all personal beongings from the car
3: Park the car in the location found you in step 1, leave the doors unlocked and the keys in the ignition. Make sure to remove house keys from the keychain and burn any papers with identification information on them.
4: Collect insurance money and buy a car made by another manufacturer to ensure that some other, fun problem will occur, not the same problem.
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