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No, philosophy is not 'useless'. How useful something is should be measured by its fulfilment of its intended purpose. A blunt blade is useless, it is intended to cut, but does not. A hammer is blunt, but not useless, it drives in nails. If you try to cut with a hammer, you are the useless one of the two.
Why do you Masturbate? To get off. Do you get off when you masturbate? Yes? Then masturbation is useful.
So even if philosophy is a masturbatory excercise (and isn't everything, when you break it down?) it serves the purpose of pleasing its participants. Useful, then. Can't ask much more than that.
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"No one was behaving from very Buddhist motives. Then, thought Pigsy, he was hardly a Buddha, nor was he a monkey. Presently, he was a pig spirit changed into a little girl pretending to be a little boy to be offered to a water monster. It was all very simple to a pig spirit."
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