Think about it.
You don't believe in god because you can't find a reason to. Even if you wanted to, you couldn't. Sure, you could delude yourself and go through the motions but deep down you know it wouldn't be honest. You can't just simply turn it on.
I tried. I went through the motions for years. Went to church, read the scripture. I wanted to believe, but it never truly came to me and I felt dishonest the entire time.
Today, I call myself atheist, but I'm still searching for something that resonates.