If you do talk to your friend and don't intend to say anything at this time about it to his wife or your wife then you need to do one thing - Make sure your friend knows that you don't want to see anything more like this. He may think that now that you know and aren't telling on him then he can be more open about it with you. That will put you in a worse place than before. Make sure that he knows that you don't want to be made "party to the crime" and if he doesn't respect that you will have to cover your own butt. Most affairs end only when they are uncovered. This guy will keep doing this until his wife catches him. In which case - if you are in the know about this deal you'll catch trouble too. You are just making sure this doesn't go too long.
Personally I would suggest, 1. Talk to your friend. Tell him he needs to stop. When/if he doesn't. 2. Talk to your wife. then 3. Go together to talk to his wife. She has a right to know. She will be hurt eventually if he has already refused to stop. She will hold it against you for not helping them. They may thank you for saving their marriage.
If the guy is truely cheating there's probably a big problem in their marriage somewhere. If you just let things play out the problem will become worse until there's no hope. The sooner this is out the better it is for them. Chances are it will come out eventually. You are just getting it over with. Don't torture yourself for this man's indiscretions.
If I were this man's wife - I would want the chance to stop things before they got too deep. If my marriage was still unsalvagable - I would want the chance not to waste possibly years on a man who was cheating on me.
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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.
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