tritium

Ok ... interesting threads, now let the Professor of Drinkology speak.

As a recent college graduate from one Georgia's top party schools and a member of the fraternity circuit, I was among the elite of my craft (drinking, for those that haven't been paying attention). I'm of Irish and Scottish decent with a Catholic background, and some might say, I'm sure, that I was born with BAC. Having established my credibility, let me begin dispensing alcoholic advise.

1) Alcohol is alcohol no matter what form it takes.
2) Beware of the proofs (percentage alcohol by volume)
3) Know your limits.
4) Never drink around frat boys -- ever. (especially if you are female)
5) Drunken Krystal's (aka., White Castle) runs are fun at 12am.
6) Waffle House is never a good idea. Eggs are bad coming back up.
7) Leave your car keys at home or turn them over to someone on your first drink.
8) Never drive after drinking underage.
9) Never be the only drunk guy -- watch and listen to the crowd.
10) If everyone seems to be talking quietly, you're drunk.
11) Its colder outside then you think. Wear a jacket.
12) Never let someone else make you a drink, unless you can watch them do it. (especially if you are a female)
13) Never let your liquor bottles be out of your line of sight -- beer is better for taking to parties b/c its sealed individually.
14) Mixing non-carbonated alcohol is OK.
15) Mixing carbonated alcohol is OK only in very specific situations. (eg., flaming Dr. Pepper)
16) Mixing alcohol with carbonated beverages is OK, but be careful. Pressure in the stomach is a bad thing if you've be drinking heavily.
17) Get a mixed liquor drink at the bar -- drink beer at home -- you'll go home with more money. Unless you're on your way home or don't plan on staying long.
18) Shots at bars are expensive. Only do shots on special occassions or when with several buddies (aka, special occassions).
19) Cheap liquors (Mr. Boston, El Toro, etc) and the drinks made from them seems to give worse hangovers.
20) Watch out for developing a taste for expensive liquors, you'll have trouble going back.
21) Eat beforehand, only because its hard to get a ride to Burger King at 10pm.
22) Buy ice beforehand, because its hard to get a ride to Kroger at 10pm.
23) Always have a designated driver handy -- even if you've only had a little. Better safe than sorry.
24) Serve the ladies first if they're present.
25) Ladies tend to like sweet drinks with wierd names (Tequila Sunrise, Miami Crush, Medori Sours, Fuzzy Navels) Stereotypical, yes, but in my experience is damn near 100% accurate. Never had a female ask for a bourbon and coke...
26) If you are male, never let another male buy you a drink, unless it's to pay off a bet or debt.
27) If you are female, graciously accept when another person buys/makes you a drink. Ditch it later if it sucks, but not if the bartender can see you do it.
28) When a buddy tells you to stop, stop. No matter what he's telling to you stop doing (yes, that means "stop balancing the keg on your face.")
29) If your lady wants to go home, go home. Chances are, she's "soberer" then you and knows more at that point.

and finally, the most important rule of all...

31) Be responsible.

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