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BCD · 01-14-2004, 03:33 PM

Enjoyed this so much had to add two stories of my own.

First, while in college I ran into my ex-girlfriend who was extremely drunk at the time. She talked about how great the sex was when we were together and that she hadn't had sex at all since we broke up. You know where this is headed. I bring her back to my college dorm room and we are having unbelievable sex. The entire bunk bed is slamming against the wall and she is screaming "oh my gawd!, oh my gawd!" over and over and over again at the top of her lungs. I'm nervous as can be b/c I know that everyone on the entire floor has got to be able to hear her, including the Resident Advisor who would get me in trouble for sneeking a member of the opposite sex in after-hours. We finish; she picks up her stuff and staggers out the door; and I lay down to go to bed. I later hear the noise of my roomate grinding his teeth, which he regularly did while he slept. Turns out, he was on the top bunk up all along, but I did not see him when we came in b/c he was pushed up against the opposite side of the bed toward the wall. The best part is that he was the most timid guy you have ever met in your life, and the next morning he says in a very meek but serious voice: "Uhh, I heard you all having sex last night. At first it made me feel quite uncomfortable, but surprisingly, as it went on, I really liked it." How do you respond to that?

Back in high school , I would regularly sneak out of my house, drive 15 minutes to my girlfriend's house, sneek her out, and then drive her back to my house, where we would mess around. I would then drive her back before daybreak. One time when I arrived to pick up my girlfriend, she remarked that her parents may have heard her sneaking out. The problem is that her father was rumored to be in the mob and had a couple missing fingers to show for it. Nonetheless, two horny kids weren't going to let this stop us. We make it back to my house and we're just starting to really go at it when I hear our phone ring at 3:00 a.m. It was my girlfriend's mother calling to tell my mother that I had snuck their daughter out and that my girlfriend's father had grabbed a gun and jumped in his car to find me. Her mother was hysterical and afraid that he might kill me, if he found us. I learned later that my mother told her that she was crazy and that I was fast asleep in my bed downstairs. Well, by the time my mother came down to check on us, my girlfriend and I were out the door and I was pushing my car down the driveway with the lights off. I pulled off the road about a mile away from my girlfriend's house. We are saying our goodbyes, when up pulls crazy Mr. C. He gets out of the gun, goes to the my side of the car and pulls a freakin' .45 pistol from his jacket and points it at me. I would have pissed myself right then, but I was too afraid to even move my bladder. I held rigid with my hand in the air. My girlfriend screams and he tells her to get in his car. He tells me to look at him, I turn, and he says "don't you EVER come around my house or my daughter again!" My girlfriend and I spoke very briefly about the issue at school one day and agreed that maybe it was best for all involved that we stop seeing each other. Not a bad idea. Moral of the story: Don't fuck with a mobster's daughter.

01-14-2004, 03:33 PM	#106 (permalink)
BCD Insane Location: Charlotte, NC	Enjoyed this so much had to add two stories of my own. First, while in college I ran into my ex-girlfriend who was extremely drunk at the time. She talked about how great the sex was when we were together and that she hadn't had sex at all since we broke up. You know where this is headed. I bring her back to my college dorm room and we are having unbelievable sex. The entire bunk bed is slamming against the wall and she is screaming "oh my gawd!, oh my gawd!" over and over and over again at the top of her lungs. I'm nervous as can be b/c I know that everyone on the entire floor has got to be able to hear her, including the Resident Advisor who would get me in trouble for sneeking a member of the opposite sex in after-hours. We finish; she picks up her stuff and staggers out the door; and I lay down to go to bed. I later hear the noise of my roomate grinding his teeth, which he regularly did while he slept. Turns out, he was on the top bunk up all along, but I did not see him when we came in b/c he was pushed up against the opposite side of the bed toward the wall. The best part is that he was the most timid guy you have ever met in your life, and the next morning he says in a very meek but serious voice: "Uhh, I heard you all having sex last night. At first it made me feel quite uncomfortable, but surprisingly, as it went on, I really liked it." How do you respond to that? Back in high school , I would regularly sneak out of my house, drive 15 minutes to my girlfriend's house, sneek her out, and then drive her back to my house, where we would mess around. I would then drive her back before daybreak. One time when I arrived to pick up my girlfriend, she remarked that her parents may have heard her sneaking out. The problem is that her father was rumored to be in the mob and had a couple missing fingers to show for it. Nonetheless, two horny kids weren't going to let this stop us. We make it back to my house and we're just starting to really go at it when I hear our phone ring at 3:00 a.m. It was my girlfriend's mother calling to tell my mother that I had snuck their daughter out and that my girlfriend's father had grabbed a gun and jumped in his car to find me. Her mother was hysterical and afraid that he might kill me, if he found us. I learned later that my mother told her that she was crazy and that I was fast asleep in my bed downstairs. Well, by the time my mother came down to check on us, my girlfriend and I were out the door and I was pushing my car down the driveway with the lights off. I pulled off the road about a mile away from my girlfriend's house. We are saying our goodbyes, when up pulls crazy Mr. C. He gets out of the gun, goes to the my side of the car and pulls a freakin' .45 pistol from his jacket and points it at me. I would have pissed myself right then, but I was too afraid to even move my bladder. I held rigid with my hand in the air. My girlfriend screams and he tells her to get in his car. He tells me to look at him, I turn, and he says "don't you EVER come around my house or my daughter again!" My girlfriend and I spoke very briefly about the issue at school one day and agreed that maybe it was best for all involved that we stop seeing each other. Not a bad idea. Moral of the story: Don't fuck with a mobster's daughter.