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Some women either won't be able to tell you, or won't want to.
I think it's one of those gender gaps. A guy thinks, "Well, if I do this, and that, and then do the other thing, we're off TO THE MOON!", and the girl thinks, "What am I? Some list to be checked off?"
Or, to be balanced and phrase it from the other point of view, the guy wants to know what he can do to make it better for the girl, but the girl wants him to know without having to ask. One of those, "Are you paying attention to me?" deals.
My advice:
1) Ask the first few times, but don't pester. If she doesn't say, don't keep bringing it up.
2) After you've settled into a grove, experiment every once in awhile and do something new. If she likes it, keep it, if not, toss it.
If she's really shy, it may be easier for her to express it during a game or dream or fantasy of some sort. Just don't laugh. =P
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