Gods 'rules' for us are there for our own good. If every person on earth followed the ten commandments and also loved one another (well the loving one another thing requires you to follow them anyway doesnt it ? - except the one about having one God) the world would surey be a much better place to live, a utopia ?
We will all make mistakes, and we will all suffer the consequences for those mistakes, but if we ask forgiveness then thats the first step on the road to undoing the damage done to ourselves and others (The simplest example of this is hating someone, how it always burns you inside far more than it hurts them.). We acknowledge it, deal with the consequences (many of which are nonobvious and far reaching) and avoid doing it again. Forgiveness is an attitude thing, not a get out of jail free card we get from chanting some magic words.
I believe that judgement is necessary to send away those whos minds are so warped and broken that they will corrupt heaven, and perish in the full presence of God. (Darkness cannot remain in the presence of light; even the darkness within cannot hide from Gods light.)
If God took away that broken mind that we cling to, he'd be taking away part of what makes us what we are, what we choose to become. (God says he will deliver us from our enemies, but for example if we are 'friends' with our greed, feeding it every chance we get, we will not be delivered from it; this kind of ties in with my view of forgiveness above)
So the only alternative is to send these people away, those so bitter and twisted in their minds that they refuse to love God, even when confronted with him. e.g. playing the victim and blaming God for lifes transgressions, and thereby rejecting him.
The whole hell thing im not sure about, but being bitter and twisted forever cant be so pleasant without anything to distract or stimulate.
God is just like a big parent, he wants best for us, and gives us rules that will protect us, not limit us. He doesnt want to judge anyone, but he cannot let people clinging to the darkness within themselves near him; this would effectively rape the soul and violate the free will given to choose our own destiny. (the light displacing darkness thing)
At least thats how i see it after my short 20 years, and no i cant prove it
And yes, most christians dont understand christianity themselves, are very poor role models, and give it a bad rep.
Im probably one of them.