motdakasha

You mean dominant.

The most important thing you could possibly do right now is make a safeword. CHOOSE A SAFEWORD. This insures the fact that the spanking will remain fully consensual throughout the session. Choose a word that you would both be unlikely to say during the spanking (or whatever else). Some of my friends use colors to indicate how they're feeling. Green means to keep going, everything is okay. Yellow means you're approaching the threshold of not being okay. Red means stoprightthefucknowmotherfucker, you've gone too far. "No" and "Stop" are awful safewords because you may say no or stop, but mean harder harder oh yes, baby. Once you've establish a safeword(s), you can feel free to explore each other's limits without worrying about the other person and if your actions are acceptable.

There are a lot of spanking tools and aids out on the market. You could toy around with those, but don't get anything for professionals (paddles with holes/perforation, anything that could seriously harm the other person). I'd recommend starting with something soft and light, like a leather cat o' nine, or similar flogger. There are also paddles to consider.

Check out http://www.mrsdungeon.com or http://www.madame-s.com for shopping or browsing in the BDSM section.

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=^-^= motdakasha =^-^=
Just Google It.
BA Psychology & Photography
(I'm not going psychoanalyze you nor will I let you cry on my shoulder. Have a nice day.)