Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Death... party pictures... moral dilemna...

analog · 01-09-2004, 12:49 PM

OK so here's the situation. It's already over and dealt with and everything, I just wanted to give everyone here something to think about for a moment.

I develop people's pictures at a national drug store chain.

The other day, I had a gentleman come in and drop off some film. He explained that the 3 rolls he was handing me were found in his daughter's room, because she's recently passed away, and he wanted to get them developed. He then looked about, with those giant, sad, sunken eyes, and leaned in to me.

He says to me, "She was my only child. She was 18. I know she had friends and things... [trailed off a moment] If you find something in there you think I shouldn't see... just tell me they were blank. No matter how hard I ask you, you just tell me it's blank, ok?"

The man's eyes were welling up with tears, and I very quickly gave him the "I'll take care of it" he'd been looking for, so he could peacefully walk out of the store.

When the negatives came out of the machine, I looked at them.

One was family pictures- mom, dad, her, out and about here and there. No big deal.

The second actually was blank. It really, actually, seriously was blank. I left that one whole and didn't detach it from the leader card (card used to drag it through the chemicals).

The third, however, which looked a bit more weathered than the other two.... the third was a party. It started out as a lot of drinking (21 is the legal age) and her in the arms of various boys, kissing various boys, etc. After a few frames of that, there was some marijuana- both in joint and pipe use (also quite illegal here).......

.......towards the end of the roll was a picture of her flashing the camera, and then, a picture of her giving head to the person holding the camera- sort of a down-shot, like the guy's point of view.

Now i've got one good roll, one REALLY blank roll, and a roll of moral dilemna. It's really not a hard decision to not give him that third party one. But I actually do have a blank one... so he's going to think there are TWO bad ones.

He comes back in the hour, and I present him with the following:

"Here is the first roll. All the pictures came out. [holding up real blank roll- ] This is the second roll, and it's blank, just as it came out of the machine. It's really, actually blank. The last roll has pictures of your daughter having a great time with some friends. It looks as though it was very recent, and she had a big smile in every picture. The pictures themselves would have been a memento to her, but will mean nothing to you."

And then I just stopped talking. He took a moment, almost said something, and then smiled and said, "I understand."

The "thank you" I received from this man after selling him his one good set of pictures, was the most sincere, deep, heartfelt "thank you" I think I have ever received from anyone, for anything, ever. Almost made me cry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So my question is this- take any position in this story- his or mine, or do both- and tell me what you would have preferred. Would you WANT to know what your daughter's pictures were of, even if it spoiled your "angel" view of them, and were graphic? Would you have even had the film developed at all? And if you were in my shoes, how would YOU have handled it?

01-09-2004, 12:49 PM	#1 (permalink)
analog Banned	Death... party pictures... moral dilemna... OK so here's the situation. It's already over and dealt with and everything, I just wanted to give everyone here something to think about for a moment. I develop people's pictures at a national drug store chain. The other day, I had a gentleman come in and drop off some film. He explained that the 3 rolls he was handing me were found in his daughter's room, because she's recently passed away, and he wanted to get them developed. He then looked about, with those giant, sad, sunken eyes, and leaned in to me. He says to me, "She was my only child. She was 18. I know she had friends and things... [trailed off a moment] If you find something in there you think I shouldn't see... just tell me they were blank. No matter how hard I ask you, you just tell me it's blank, ok?" The man's eyes were welling up with tears, and I very quickly gave him the "I'll take care of it" he'd been looking for, so he could peacefully walk out of the store. When the negatives came out of the machine, I looked at them. One was family pictures- mom, dad, her, out and about here and there. No big deal. The second actually was blank. It really, actually, seriously was blank. I left that one whole and didn't detach it from the leader card (card used to drag it through the chemicals). The third, however, which looked a bit more weathered than the other two.... the third was a party. It started out as a lot of drinking (21 is the legal age) and her in the arms of various boys, kissing various boys, etc. After a few frames of that, there was some marijuana- both in joint and pipe use (also quite illegal here)....... .......towards the end of the roll was a picture of her flashing the camera, and then, a picture of her giving head to the person holding the camera- sort of a down-shot, like the guy's point of view. Now i've got one good roll, one REALLY blank roll, and a roll of moral dilemna. It's really not a hard decision to not give him that third party one. But I actually do have a blank one... so he's going to think there are TWO bad ones. He comes back in the hour, and I present him with the following: "Here is the first roll. All the pictures came out. [holding up real blank roll- ] This is the second roll, and it's blank, just as it came out of the machine. It's really, actually blank. The last roll has pictures of your daughter having a great time with some friends. It looks as though it was very recent, and she had a big smile in every picture. The pictures themselves would have been a memento to her, but will mean nothing to you." And then I just stopped talking. He took a moment, almost said something, and then smiled and said, "I understand." The "thank you" I received from this man after selling him his one good set of pictures, was the most sincere, deep, heartfelt "thank you" I think I have ever received from anyone, for anything, ever. Almost made me cry. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So my question is this- take any position in this story- his or mine, or do both- and tell me what you would have preferred. Would you WANT to know what your daughter's pictures were of, even if it spoiled your "angel" view of them, and were graphic? Would you have even had the film developed at all? And if you were in my shoes, how would YOU have handled it?