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From Resoviour Dogs:
NICE GUY EDDIE
Okay, everybody cough up green for the little lady.
Everybody whips out a buck, and throws it on the table.
Everybody, that is, except Mr. Pink.
NICE GUY EDDIE
C'mon, throw in a buck.
MR. PINK
Uh-uh. I don't tip.
NICE GUY EDDIE
Whaddaya mean you don't tip?
MR. PINK
I don't believe in it.
NICE GUY EDDIE
You don't believe in tipping?
MR. BLONDE (laughing)
I love this kid, he's a madman, this guy.
MR. WHITE
Do you have any idea what these ladies make? They make.
MR. PINK
Don't give me that. She don't make enough money, she can quit.
Everybody laughs.
NICE GUY EDDIE
I don't even know a Jew who'd have the balls to say that. So let's
get this straight. You never ever tip?
MR. PINK
I don't tip because society says I gotta. I tip when somebody
deserves a tip. When somebody really puts forth an effort, they
deserve a little something extra. But this tipping automatically,
that's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doin their job.
MR. BLUE
Our girl was nice.
MR. PINK
Our girl was okay. She didn't do anything special.
MR. BLUE
What's something special, take ya i the kitchen and?
They all laugh.
NICE GUY EDDIE
I'd go over twelve percent for that.
MR. PINK
Look, I ordered coffee. Now we've ben here a long in time, and
she's only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee, I
want it filled six times.
MR. WHITE
What if she's too busy?
MR. PINK
The words "too busy" shouldn't be in a waitress's vocabulary.
NICE GUY EDDIE
Excuse me, Mr. White, but the last thing you need is another cup of coffee.
They all laugh.
MR. PINK
These ladies aren't starvin to death. They make minimum wage.
When I worked for minimum wage, I wasn't lucky enough to have a job that society deemed tipworthy.
NICE GUY EDDIE
Ahh, now we're getting down to it. It's not just that he's a cheap
MR. ORANGE
--It is that too--
__________________
Doh!!!!
-Homer Simpson
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