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finally starting to realize that I shouldn't give a fuck what other people think and trying to be myself all the more.
realizing that groups of people even just "friends" are really support groups to make themselves feel better. I tried hanging out with a group of cool people for a while. Drug free they were, and also closed minded confined average people. I learned that the fewer people you are good friends with, the closer you can be to them.
I guess more recently it was the fact that I freed my mind. I killed my conscience. I think as me, not as some voice in my head determining right from wrong. and that sadly, life seems to be a big popularity contest. anything politically related is all popularity based and what money goes where ? ranting is a new thing, facing the facts that groups of people are stupider and that mathmatics rule over anything. No matter how boring equations and graphs are, mathmatics hold true to every aspect of life from the shape of an orange in nature to the most complex machine built by humans. and I also have realized that our existence is that of a parasite, to consume as much as possible as fast we can and enjoy doing it. thats my philosophy on life. i am a christian, but at the same time I keep realizing things. and I realize how wrong the world is, but I realize there isn't shit I can do about it. so then I realized that I might as well do as I please and half assedly conform to the rules of society and keep moving my digits and numbers around as we people of the world are, numbers. eventually I might write my theorem on how people are numbers and governments just play their numbers like chips on craps, but I'll get to that later.
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