I have decided to revive this thread because I've entered into a new relationship, and I am much, much more hopeful about everything. Everything feels right, and I've realized some things that I was missing in the previous relationship that I'm getting now.
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Both people have to be aware of this and be working towards the same goal. True growth in love can only happen when both partners are fuel and sustaining each other. If one tried to develop love by oneself then a love/hate feeling begins to develop for the person of affection. The hate comes from constant feeling of incompleteness, hollowness, futility and most importantly distance
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Without attempting to fall into a new relationship again, I have. This is because when we encountered each other this intimacy born of mutually sharing each other really did connect us. That distance that I was so sure I would continue to encounter in every relationship went away.
<small>Justification as to why I'm continuing this thread in philosophy:</small>
I was so concerned about finding
meaning in relationships because I felt that all of the connections I made in my previous relationships were generated by myself. What is happening now is different. There is a vibrancy from both of our creative energies mixing. Music, art, and poetry really flow out of us. We have started to share a journal, I would have never thought of this idea before I met this girl. Now her creative ideas I will use to fuel my writing (and visa versa).
I had written earlier that I was looking for something different. What I found was someone who is very much like me. Instead of stifling the connections, it strengthened them and created many more. The connections aren't entirely self-contained when you allow the other person to contribute to them. I feel this relationship has meaning because of this. Maybe this isn't "safe" because I am relying on the other person for meaning more than I had in other relationships. But, at the same time, I feel more secure in the relationship because of it. I don't feel dependent either, or maybe (to quote the Cocteau Twins) this is a "healthy dependency"?
Perhaps here is a good time to question - how do the rest of you who have been in relationships judge what gives your relationship meaning? Where does the meaning come from? What are your limits? What concerns do you have when it comes to having meaning in your life and going beyond solitude into a relationship?