I think there are plenty of guys out there that are a good mix of Alpha Male and genuine Nice Guy. Let’s call em Self Actualized. So you really have 3 types; the Alpha Male who hits on everything that moves and collects as many numbers as he can, has no concern for a woman’s feelings and is in general just rude to anyone he sees as potential competition. The Self Actualized Male. This guy is confident, generally happy with himself, attempts to actually know the women that he is interested in, doesn’t ignore others that are around him just so he can “get to the girl,” etc. Thirdly, there’s that nice guy in the corner who is overshadowed by both and probably doesn’t ever get the chance to talk to the women he is interested in. It’s easy to pick out the “Nice Guy” out of these three so let’s leave him out of it. If a woman wants that she can spot it a mile away and she probably realizes she’ll have to make the effort to reach him.
The real challenge for women is to distinguish between the SAM (Self Actualized Male) and AM (Alpha Male). In most social situations the AM and SAM are indistinguishable (except for the really hard core AM’s, they just make me laugh more often then not.) Indistinguishable unless you are observant enough to see the entire social setting. Pay attention to the little things that guys do, how they treat not only other women, but other men as well. Is he rude or dismissive to other males? If so, he is probably either insecure about himself or simply immature in general, regardless he is goal oriented for that moment and he resorts to basic human instincts to control a situation. Definitely not a SAM.
Contrary to what most women believe, guys are fairly smart. We’ve learned how to play the game to get what we want, to say all the right things at the right time. Women are duped all the time. If you pay attention to the little things you will see more going on there than you thought.
Ok, I’ve rambled enough. Back to work for me.
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bigoldalphamale, maybe in pre seventeenth century Alpha Males (by the purest definition of the term) were best suited to mate. Frankly those skills are no longer required.
Maybe Alpha Male isn't the best label, but at the moment, I can't think of a better one.