Quote:
Originally posted by wry1
I would like to think that being in a relationship should change people's behavior. After all, when you're not in a relationship, then your only obligation is to look out for your own best interests.
But being in a relationship brings with it the obligation to take your partner into account, to determine how your actions (or inaction) will effect the other person. If for some reason this isn't happening, then I really couldn't hold out much hope for the survivability of it all.
This does not mean that there should be an effort made to change what makes a person fundamentally unique. You don't like certain things about your partner? Either learn to love these little "quirks" or else re-think your compatibility.
But, as always, it's just IMHO.
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Damn this man is smart!
I have to agree and disagree with what wry1 says. I think that when you fall in love with someone you fall in love with them with your eyes open. You realize their good points yet you realize their bad as well, and you accept the bad with the good.
If you go into a relationship thinking to change that person....then you are not going into it with the
same person you fell in love with.
You do however have to accept the idea that you will take your SO's considerations into account. If you love them and you know that your doing a particular action will hurt them....you won't do it. So yes, relationships do require some give and take on both parts....but as far as trying to change yourself - then I think you are just trying to hide your true nature. And you know what....after 10 or 20 years of being together - your true nature is bound to show. As far as trying to change someone else....don't. You might as well put them in a little prison and take on the position of warden. You either love that person and accept them or you don't.
I see things in black and white!