Quote:
Originally posted by LiquidSquid
Alright...this is my first post, and I visit the boards very infrequently. Be that as it may, this thread has captured my attention. I'd just like to throw in the fact that I met the girl I'm with now without using any of the above rules, or hints, or whatever you want to call them. I met her thorough work, which just goes to show that bars aren't the only answer. I like to keep myself clean and neat, as anyone should, really, but I wouldn't say that I dress as sophisticatedly as is recommended here. I like to dress fairly casually, so I do. I just feel more comfortable. Of course my clothes are clean, appropriate (no track pants people), and don't clash or anything. But I certainly don't go to the trouble of matching my socks to my vest, or whatever I'm supposed to do. I don't go the gym or work out on anything approaching a regular basis. Which isn't to say I'm overweight, I like to keep active and keep myself busy, but I'm not built by any sense of the word. Rather skinny in fact. Turns out she's not that attracted to muscular guys. Yes, there are some girls like that out there. When I met her, I just treated her as I would anyone else. I thought of her as a friend, and didn't worry about the impression I was making or whether she was interested or not. I was just confident and acted the way I always do. Like myself. Eventually she decided she'd better give me her email. Then her phone number. Heck, why doesn't she invite me over for dinner? From there on it's all roses. What's the secret formula? There is none. Not every girl is going to like you or be interested in you. Yeah, you might stand a chance of getting into her pants if you put on this sort of elaborate ruse, as Plan9 suggests, but is it really worth your time and energy to get closer to someone who isn't actually interested in the real you? Do what makes you happy, what you feel comfortable with. That will make you more confident. If you are more confident, there's no need to act it out to convince others. And if there's one thing everyone can agree on, confidence is sexy. So: don't twist your head in a knot worrying, have patience and persistence, go with the flow, treat everyone with the same respect you'd like for yourself, and never discount a possibility. Usually the best prospects are staring you right in the face without you knowing it.
P.S. Oh, and sleep soundly knowing that there ARE girls out there who will love you because you're a warm, funny, intelligent guy, and not just sleep with you because you have nice abs and a Brad Pitt voice.
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I also dont post here very often but I feel that i need to here.
LiquidSquid- i know exactly what you mean. I think that Plan9's advice is base more towards getting hookups than long lasting relationships.
Plan9- I've tried your advice and its gotten me plenty of hookups which are nice and all, but right now I'm looking for a real relationship and it just wont happen with any of the girls im meeting with your advice.
back to LS, what you have said about getting to know the girls, i feel is greatly important if you plan to be in a relationship.