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Originally posted by amonkie
5. How to change the oil on your car. Still working on this one since the oil was just changed 500 miles ago, and dad is all worried about the jack slipping or something while I'm under there. Don't know how it's any safer when he's under there!
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Because the jack slipping is a very real danger, every other year or so some teenager around here (in a town of about 30,000) ends up killing themselves working on their car because they make one little mistake, such as earlier this year when a truck fell on top of the poor guy when the jack just gave way because it wasn't set up right.
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One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink but then held it out over the beer and yelled "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT, YOU BASTARD!"
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