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moot1337 · 12-29-2003, 10:12 PM

Found this elsewhere on TFP... go go, repost!

And thanks to those on the TFP that contributed this... it's good stuff

Secrets of the Clitoris
Dr. Fink

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyone who has been getting laid for a significant amount of time knows that pure penetration does not get the job done for most women. Sure, you can bang away and take care of your part of the deal, but isn’t it so much better when you can get her off, too? Answer: yes, it is.

Which brings us to the clitoris. If you plan on making your girl scream like Mariah Carey, you must know the ins and outs... no pun intended... of this most elusive part of the female anatomy. Now, don't get me wrong, there are many other female body parts that you should pay attention to if you want to be a great lover... but we're not discussing those parts here. This is strictly clit talk. So what are you waiting for? Dive on in!

Things You Should Know About the Clitoris

1) Clitoris = penis.
I don't want to freak anyone out with this statement. All I'm saying is, what your penis is to you, the clitoris is to your woman. Can you imagine having a marathon sex session without the girl ever getting anywhere near your wang? It would suck ass. That’s what it's like for women to have sex with no clitoral stimulation.

2) That little pencil eraser looking thing? That's not it.
Okay, so this statement is not entirely true... that little pencil eraser thing is part of the clitoris. But - and this is crucial – it's only part. What many people call the clit is really the "glans." Remember our penis analogy. The glans is the head. So that means that there is also a shaft.

"What?" you say. "I don’t know what kind of trim you’ve been getting, Dr. Fink, but my girl does not have a fucking shaft."

I have not gotten much quality trim, this is true. But they have definitely been women, and I can assure you beyond a shadow of a doubt that they have all had a clitoral shaft. It's there. However, women, in their never-ending quest to make our lives more difficult, have evolved in such a way that the main part of their most sensitive sex organ is TUCKED INSIDE THEIR BODIES.

3) An anatomy lesson.
Back when you were just a little fetus hanging out inside your mama's womb, some divine stroke of fate made you a man. Others were not so lucky. These people became women.

Ladies, I kid.

The point is, although we look differently (and most definitely act differently), men and women are made from the same basic substance, and therefore, our sexual organs are not as different as they may seem to the naked eye. Take, for example, the scrotum, or, for the less scientific-minded, the nutsack. The nutsack is made from exactly the same sort of tissue that makes up the lips of the vagina. The difference is that we have a seam running down the middle that basically sews the two sides together, while women have no seam. This is fortunate for reasons that need not be explained here.

So, in our analogy, if the lips are like the scro, the clitoris is, again, like the penis. The shaft of the clitoris goes back and up, inside the vagina, where it is covered by a layer of fat and skin. Unfortunately, if you stick your fingers into the vagina and rub the top, you’re not rubbing the clitoris, because that damn fat and skin layer is blocking your path.

Right up at the head of the clitoris, or, as we've learned, the glans, this shaft divides into two forks called "crura." The penis analogy is not lost... we actually have crura down there, too. They anchor the penis to the body. These crura perform the same function on women.

The clitoris is A) erectile and B) flexible. When it gets erect, it lengthens and its bend flattens out, just like a penis. The flexible part is the neat part. Unlike the penis, which is always in the same place, the clitoris can float up and down inside the midline of the body.

Right behind the root of the clitoris, about an inch inside the body, there’s an oval-shaped bone called the symphasis. Men have a symphasis as well, which is located above the root of the penis. The symphasis is a very useful bone, as you will soon learn.

4) Fantastic. Great. Now how do I use this information to get my woman off?
Before I tell you what to do, I'll tell ya' what not to do. Don't concentrate on the glans. We all know what a foreskin is, right? Personally, I don’t have one. Those bastards at the hospital chopped mine off many years ago without my permission. If you've managed to hang onto yours, you know that the foreskin covers the head of your dick until you get worked up. The glans of the clitoris operates under the exact same system. If you don't have a foreskin, imagine a layer of not-real-sensitive skin covering the head of your penis. If a woman was rubbing it around before you were totally hard, most likely, it would just feel obnoxious.

Now, it's true that the glans is way sensitive, so you definitely have to use it... you just have to use it the right way. Make sure she's worked up and in the mood before you attack the glans. She's not going to get hot with you rubbing your stubby fingers all over her push-button. You need to incorporate the whole damned vagina, crura and all.

When women masturbate, the most common stroke is to rub the glans and crura in a circular motion. Most women tend to go either clockwise or counter-clockwise. As when you whack off, there is an upstroke and a downstroke, with the upstroke being the most pleasurable, and the downstroke being a necessary bridge between upstrokes. So when you’re giving your woman the rubdown, use your whole hand, not just your finger. You have to make sure the entire clitoris is being stimulated, not just the glans – I can’t stress this enough. Play around and find out what feels good to her. Or just ask. No shame in asking, for Chrissakes.

There is one more thing – the sweet spot. First, figure out whether she likes it best clockwise or counter-clockwise. That's imperative. Now, at the completion of the circle, there will be a little spot that can provide her with massive, unbelievable pleasure. Looking at the vagina as a clockface (as we all like to do from time to time), this spot will either be at 11:00 or 1:00, depending on her preferred circle. When she’s really hot, apply a gentle but firm pressure to this spot and watch the magic unfold.

5) Penetration.
Getting her off during penetration can be a little more complex. But not really... I mean, come on, this ain't rocket science here. It is definitely going to require some communication between you and her, though, so if you have a hard time talking to your woman... get a new partner. Or get yourself some therapy.

What you want to do is teach her to work her clitoris properly. Have her get on top of you. This way, she can better control her part of the bargain. Remember the symphasis? She needs to position herself so that her clitoris is trapped between her symphasis and yours. It sounds complicated, but trust me, she will know when she hits it.

With every inward stroke, she should give a little downward and outward roll of her pelvis. That's it. With that tiny little extra twist, her sexual pleasure instantly increases tenfold... which means that yours will, as well. The best part? YOU DON'T NEED TO DO A GODDAMNED THING. Just lay back and take it like a man.

Of course, as she gets better at it, she can find the right position quickly and you can switch up your steez.

So there it is, the Vissor.com Guide to the Clitoris. Hopefully, I have managed to shed some light on a formerly dark subject for some of you. In writing this article, I have spent the past few hours staring at a computer screen, carefully studying the female anatomy, and I'm tired of it. I'm getting the hell out of here and going to have myself some mind-blowing sex. I suggest you do the same.

12-29-2003, 10:12 PM	#3 (permalink)
moot1337 Insane Location: Learning to Fly...	Found this elsewhere on TFP... go go, repost! And thanks to those on the TFP that contributed this... it's good stuff Secrets of the Clitoris Dr. Fink -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Anyone who has been getting laid for a significant amount of time knows that pure penetration does not get the job done for most women. Sure, you can bang away and take care of your part of the deal, but isn’t it so much better when you can get her off, too? Answer: yes, it is. Which brings us to the clitoris. If you plan on making your girl scream like Mariah Carey, you must know the ins and outs... no pun intended... of this most elusive part of the female anatomy. Now, don't get me wrong, there are many other female body parts that you should pay attention to if you want to be a great lover... but we're not discussing those parts here. This is strictly clit talk. So what are you waiting for? Dive on in! Things You Should Know About the Clitoris 1) Clitoris = penis. I don't want to freak anyone out with this statement. All I'm saying is, what your penis is to you, the clitoris is to your woman. Can you imagine having a marathon sex session without the girl ever getting anywhere near your wang? It would suck ass. That’s what it's like for women to have sex with no clitoral stimulation. 2) That little pencil eraser looking thing? That's not it. Okay, so this statement is not entirely true... that little pencil eraser thing is part of the clitoris. But - and this is crucial – it's only part. What many people call the clit is really the "glans." Remember our penis analogy. The glans is the head. So that means that there is also a shaft. "What?" you say. "I don’t know what kind of trim you’ve been getting, Dr. Fink, but my girl does not have a fucking shaft." I have not gotten much quality trim, this is true. But they have definitely been women, and I can assure you beyond a shadow of a doubt that they have all had a clitoral shaft. It's there. However, women, in their never-ending quest to make our lives more difficult, have evolved in such a way that the main part of their most sensitive sex organ is TUCKED INSIDE THEIR BODIES. 3) An anatomy lesson. Back when you were just a little fetus hanging out inside your mama's womb, some divine stroke of fate made you a man. Others were not so lucky. These people became women. Ladies, I kid. The point is, although we look differently (and most definitely act differently), men and women are made from the same basic substance, and therefore, our sexual organs are not as different as they may seem to the naked eye. Take, for example, the scrotum, or, for the less scientific-minded, the nutsack. The nutsack is made from exactly the same sort of tissue that makes up the lips of the vagina. The difference is that we have a seam running down the middle that basically sews the two sides together, while women have no seam. This is fortunate for reasons that need not be explained here. So, in our analogy, if the lips are like the scro, the clitoris is, again, like the penis. The shaft of the clitoris goes back and up, inside the vagina, where it is covered by a layer of fat and skin. Unfortunately, if you stick your fingers into the vagina and rub the top, you’re not rubbing the clitoris, because that damn fat and skin layer is blocking your path. Right up at the head of the clitoris, or, as we've learned, the glans, this shaft divides into two forks called "crura." The penis analogy is not lost... we actually have crura down there, too. They anchor the penis to the body. These crura perform the same function on women. The clitoris is A) erectile and B) flexible. When it gets erect, it lengthens and its bend flattens out, just like a penis. The flexible part is the neat part. Unlike the penis, which is always in the same place, the clitoris can float up and down inside the midline of the body. Right behind the root of the clitoris, about an inch inside the body, there’s an oval-shaped bone called the symphasis. Men have a symphasis as well, which is located above the root of the penis. The symphasis is a very useful bone, as you will soon learn. 4) Fantastic. Great. Now how do I use this information to get my woman off? Before I tell you what to do, I'll tell ya' what not to do. Don't concentrate on the glans. We all know what a foreskin is, right? Personally, I don’t have one. Those bastards at the hospital chopped mine off many years ago without my permission. If you've managed to hang onto yours, you know that the foreskin covers the head of your dick until you get worked up. The glans of the clitoris operates under the exact same system. If you don't have a foreskin, imagine a layer of not-real-sensitive skin covering the head of your penis. If a woman was rubbing it around before you were totally hard, most likely, it would just feel obnoxious. Now, it's true that the glans is way sensitive, so you definitely have to use it... you just have to use it the right way. Make sure she's worked up and in the mood before you attack the glans. She's not going to get hot with you rubbing your stubby fingers all over her push-button. You need to incorporate the whole damned vagina, crura and all. When women masturbate, the most common stroke is to rub the glans and crura in a circular motion. Most women tend to go either clockwise or counter-clockwise. As when you whack off, there is an upstroke and a downstroke, with the upstroke being the most pleasurable, and the downstroke being a necessary bridge between upstrokes. So when you’re giving your woman the rubdown, use your whole hand, not just your finger. You have to make sure the entire clitoris is being stimulated, not just the glans – I can’t stress this enough. Play around and find out what feels good to her. Or just ask. No shame in asking, for Chrissakes. There is one more thing – the sweet spot. First, figure out whether she likes it best clockwise or counter-clockwise. That's imperative. Now, at the completion of the circle, there will be a little spot that can provide her with massive, unbelievable pleasure. Looking at the vagina as a clockface (as we all like to do from time to time), this spot will either be at 11:00 or 1:00, depending on her preferred circle. When she’s really hot, apply a gentle but firm pressure to this spot and watch the magic unfold. 5) Penetration. Getting her off during penetration can be a little more complex. But not really... I mean, come on, this ain't rocket science here. It is definitely going to require some communication between you and her, though, so if you have a hard time talking to your woman... get a new partner. Or get yourself some therapy. What you want to do is teach her to work her clitoris properly. Have her get on top of you. This way, she can better control her part of the bargain. Remember the symphasis? She needs to position herself so that her clitoris is trapped between her symphasis and yours. It sounds complicated, but trust me, she will know when she hits it. With every inward stroke, she should give a little downward and outward roll of her pelvis. That's it. With that tiny little extra twist, her sexual pleasure instantly increases tenfold... which means that yours will, as well. The best part? YOU DON'T NEED TO DO A GODDAMNED THING. Just lay back and take it like a man. Of course, as she gets better at it, she can find the right position quickly and you can switch up your steez. So there it is, the Vissor.com Guide to the Clitoris. Hopefully, I have managed to shed some light on a formerly dark subject for some of you. In writing this article, I have spent the past few hours staring at a computer screen, carefully studying the female anatomy, and I'm tired of it. I'm getting the hell out of here and going to have myself some mind-blowing sex. I suggest you do the same.