Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Love, Religion, and Family. Please Help Me.

raeanna74 · 12-23-2003, 08:45 AM

My parents are strict protestant Christian and for me to date anyone of any other belief would have been devastating for them. I married within our religion. My brother did not. It created a great deal of upset and my father even attempted suicide due to his unstable mental situation and the stress of his son "sinning". Note: I'm not saying your mother is unstable at all it's just a part of being so indoctrinated in the religion in her case I believe. My family's church even sent a couple people to my brother's house to lecture him on this sin he was committing. My brother ended up with a very small wedding he and his wife paid for it themselves. Very few family came. I did attend even though I had a migrane that day from other reasons. I wanted to show him that I supported him despite criticism that he'd received from others. Our parents did attend the wedding because in their eyes they didn't want to miss their son's wedding even though they didn't approve. Our parents have reconciled to the marriage and have not ostracised him. They don't give him a lot of support financially or anything but it was his choice and he is responsible.

You are the one who has to live your life. You are not responsible for your parents emotions. You are responsible for your life and if you choose to continue to be with this girl you should be prepared to be responsible for this life you have chosen. Meaning if you need tuition - try to find other ways of getting it. Scholarships, grants, loans, and plain old work. It may take you longer to get through college but if good ol' Dad won't help you because of your decision then you can still do it. You don't have to just please them. All children disappoint their parents sometime or other. Parents can handle it.

I do understand the guilt you would feel over this. I have avoided doing things in my life simply because my parents disapproved. I regret that I have not pursued my own life. My parents aren't involved in things very much now. I talk to them regularly but they don't live here in my home, with my family and with the results of my decisions. The guilt will pass and you will be the only one living with the results of your decisions. This girl sounds worth the temporary upset in your family. Just be prepared to be responsible for your own livlihood and college education. Isn't it worth the extra effort?

Good Luck.

12-23-2003, 08:45 AM	#7 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	My parents are strict protestant Christian and for me to date anyone of any other belief would have been devastating for them. I married within our religion. My brother did not. It created a great deal of upset and my father even attempted suicide due to his unstable mental situation and the stress of his son "sinning". Note: I'm not saying your mother is unstable at all it's just a part of being so indoctrinated in the religion in her case I believe. My family's church even sent a couple people to my brother's house to lecture him on this sin he was committing. My brother ended up with a very small wedding he and his wife paid for it themselves. Very few family came. I did attend even though I had a migrane that day from other reasons. I wanted to show him that I supported him despite criticism that he'd received from others. Our parents did attend the wedding because in their eyes they didn't want to miss their son's wedding even though they didn't approve. Our parents have reconciled to the marriage and have not ostracised him. They don't give him a lot of support financially or anything but it was his choice and he is responsible. You are the one who has to live your life. You are not responsible for your parents emotions. You are responsible for your life and if you choose to continue to be with this girl you should be prepared to be responsible for this life you have chosen. Meaning if you need tuition - try to find other ways of getting it. Scholarships, grants, loans, and plain old work. It may take you longer to get through college but if good ol' Dad won't help you because of your decision then you can still do it. You don't have to just please them. All children disappoint their parents sometime or other. Parents can handle it. I do understand the guilt you would feel over this. I have avoided doing things in my life simply because my parents disapproved. I regret that I have not pursued my own life. My parents aren't involved in things very much now. I talk to them regularly but they don't live here in my home, with my family and with the results of my decisions. The guilt will pass and you will be the only one living with the results of your decisions. This girl sounds worth the temporary upset in your family. Just be prepared to be responsible for your own livlihood and college education. Isn't it worth the extra effort? Good Luck. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.