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A civil war between conservatives and liberals? That one's easy, conservatives like guns, we'd have that won in a few days. That's without military intervention though, but even then most of the U.S. military is conservative, about 25/1 I think the ratio is. So with them, liberals would be crushed almost immediately.
Between socialists and everyone? Most socialists are lefties, and there's not as many of them as there are liberals. This one is even shorter then the first.
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"I went shopping last night at like 1am. The place was empty and this old woman just making polite conversation said to me, 'where is everyone??' I replied, 'In bed, same place you and I should be!' Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look." --Some guy
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