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You guys really need to help me out! I started this damn thread to try to find others who felt like me. I'm sick of feeling misunderstood and alone. I have never met anyone in person who is like me, which makes me feel like I'm even more a freak of nature. I can't be in a relationship because whoever my boyfriend is thinks I'm only trying to get attention, when I really just want help! I want someone who will know I'm sick and will care anyway, someone willing to be there even though I'm pessimistic and have absolutely no self worth.
I thought my current boyfriend would understand but he doesn't. He says things about myself that cut me to the bone. People always say "what do you want from me?" I want someone who won't give up on me as easily as I give up on myself but I guess that is to much to ask, it interfers with people's future plans. I want someone who will let me know that there is a reason to keep living.
People don't understand that I can't even imagine my life 5 yrs from now, I never have a sense of well being. I'm 19 and have been dealing with this for 8yrs, and I really don't know how much more I can take. Life is just gonna get harder and I'm too soft. No one is ever gonna accept me for me faults and all. Everyone says I'm too difficult, guess I'm not worth their time. My sheets have blood on them and I need to go wash them now. I wish I was gone. I wish even more I had a reason to live.
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