I should've read the rest of this post, but wanted to go ahead and say what I have to say.
Eye contact is extremely important to me. The eyes are the window to the soul. Almost never am I afraid, or uncomfortable holding eye contact with people (my friends in grade school used to get pissed at me cause in bad neighborhoods I would look anyone and everyone in the eye, even the man running down the street in an all red jumpsuit who'd just try and stare me down; and I'd continue the eye contact till I felt it was sufficient to stop).
In conversations I find watching people's eyes, and general body movements you can tell how they really feel about what they are talking about. Often tell if they're lying, if they even know what they are talking about.
Not being a particularly great conversationist I use my eyes to communicate (probably too much so). I use them to show girls I'm interested in them, or intriqued by them. I also have a habit of making solid eye contact with people I pass by, and giving them a sincere smile. It's amazing how you can watch their eyes light up, and their smile return just seeing someone else smile. I love it. I don't hold anything against someone who is uncomfortable with eye contact though. It's not a contest, just another means of communication. There are times where the last thing I want to do is look someone in the eye, and what not.
As for improving eye contact. Have staring competitions with your friends, even if it sounds childish, it helps. I always used to be able to win such contests, and when it came to eye contact with anyone I did treat it like competition as a kid, but now it's just something I do. Another thing is to be honest with yourself, I notice if I'm lying, eye contact becomes very hard, so I just don't do that.
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