absence_of_color

Is it something in the air?
Or is it just this life?

Am I ever going to feel again?
Lifted up by praise and a need>?

Or am I just crazy?

I feel so depraved of arms tightly clenching.

I can hear your breathe upon my neck,
but you are not here.
I can taste your flesh upon my tongue,
but I have never had you.
I can see your staring eyes looking up at me,
but it is only in my dreams.
I can smell your sweet aroma linger near,
but it is something I must forget.

Or am I just crazy?

Forlorn tears bleed their silent pain.
Hidden words wail their lonesome song.
A sensation of touch dwindles into a memory.
Forbidden desire tears at my sanity.
An empty heart shatters...

Or am I just crazy?

A year has passed and everything is still the same.
I packed my bags long ago.
Still, though, they sit, dusted over, from my want.
Another life may be the right time,
but can I wait that long?
Longing for the moment when all of it seems worthwhile.
Eternity has taken on a new form, waiting.

I watch myself from a distance.
Painful and mute, mourning a loss that never was.
Stained and broken, sweeping up the remains.
Scared and lonely, confidence is non existant.

Suddenly I cant see.
I am dying.
I must be.
Impatient for my fate coming to pass, I whisper goodbye.
Then I realize its only a moment of weakness, liquified, pouring from the windows of my soul.

Entwined in fantasy, reality can almost be tolerable.

Crazy again...

__________________
...absent of everything.