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Sho Nuff is correct . . . . . love is being selfish and frightened. When you love someone 'more than you live yourself' you are really saying that you will be VERY upset if anything bad happens to them. Love is therefore a protection mechanism which drives you to protect your 'loved ones' through fear of loss. Love is fear-driven. You dont want to lose the pleasure that the other person is bringing to you so you tell them you 'love' them! What you are really saying is "dont leave me! I am selfish and enjoy the pleasure you bring me". Hence the expression if you truly love someone set them free.
Love is a very selfish emotion. Avoid!
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So, can you love someone without attempting to control them? Since emotions are internal we can learn to make that investment emotionally without having to need anything from the other person. However, this is really difficult because it requires a sort of completeness or unity in the individual, which most of us never achieve (or want to achieve). Since love is such a strong feeling it tends to get associated with power, and people tend to look towards the external to feel power - it is fairly natural to try to feel power with love. I guess what I'm saying is that for me, love doesn't have to be fear driven, I have to let go of trying get things from what I love. Instead, I create. And I can get hurt, and when it happens (like it did recently), I can accept it and move on. And continue creating.