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Ah, nobody told me that Santa wasn't real...
It was until on the way home from a Xmas party, I think I was about 10 at that time and it was Xmas eve. So, my brother and sister were excited about having Santa over that night and were planning on capturing him. So, Dad and Mom goes on and on about how he has to travel all over the world and shits like that. So, while I'm listening and I remember thinking "How is that possible? 1 fat hairy man for all 3 billion kids in the world" and they were talking about how Santa goes down the chimmey and I thought about how small our chimmey was and then that's when I slamed my fist on the car seat and I said "BULLSHIT!" My Dad was shocked at me swearing (swearing was uncommon for me back then...) So, when we all got home, that's when my Dad broke the news to me and I wasn't even shocked.
Sooner or later, kids are gonna know but damn, why the fuck did the DJ announced to the world? What right is it his to ruin the joyous xmas of childrens who are looking forward to capturing the "REAL" Santa clause as he's coming down the chimmey. Everybody knows that kids love doing that, even when they never actually capture him or end up falling asleep...
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Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war
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