|
This might sound a little out there, but....
Eye contact is a side-effect. When two people are having a conversation, and they're both really there, eye contact happens, everyone feels heard and known and respected, and communication takes on a very powerful, efficient, and satisfying quality. People feel very, very related when this occurs.
This isn't something you can "fake" by learning tricks about maintaining eye contact. What people will get is, "Oh. He's trying to really relate to me." They're not left with the relatedness, they're left with you trying.
What it takes to have this sort of in-the-moment relatedness is being willing to be vulnerable. Because yes, in these moments, the people you're with can see deeply into you, and you deeply into them.
There ARE ways to train yourself to cause this sort of experience with people, but it's really not about learning to maintain eye contact.
|