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The_Dude,
Fortunately, I CAN address the science.
Science is not concerned with God, either to prove or to disprove. Science is concerned with explaining the workings of nature in an observable fashion using experiments that produce repeatable results.
In other words, science is concerned with the "how's" of nature, whereas religion is concerned with the why's.
Since you mention "two thousand years ago", I will make the leap and assume you are talking about Christianity. Well, I happen to call myself such, but I don't believe there was an Adam or an Eve. Surprised? Don't be. It is relatively easy for me and millions of other Christians to seemlessly integrate what we believe through religion with what we know through science.
I also won't be pronouncing that you are going to Hell for not believing as I believe. I believe what I do for my own reasons and everyone has to come to their own reasons.
If you have specific questions about 'something written two thousand years ago', I have more than a passing knowledge of the subject, including who actually wrote what, and why we think so. I can also answer why I believe as I do, but as to others, they will have to answer for themselves.
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"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis
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