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lurkette · 11-25-2003, 07:07 AM

I started having panic attacks right after we bought our first house, about 5 years ago. I felt like having a house was such a huge responsibility, and that because we were living across the street from an apartment building and had "more" than they did, I felt like I would be punished for my good fortune somehow, that they'd hate me and something bad would happen. I couldn't leave the house, I didn't want anybody to see me, and the last straw that finally got me to therapy was when Ratbastid caught me crawling on the floor under the sightline of the windows so people couldn't see me. I swear I have NO memory of that, but I believe him.

Some therapy helped - I learned progressive relaxation and meditation techniques, uncovered and learned how to derail some of the mental processes that caused the panic attacks, and pretty much licked them without meds.

Then my brother died. I was already on meds for a mild depression that started last year, but the first time Ratbastid had to be away for the weekend, I had one. I had just gone to my boss's house to witness her husband Bill's will and living will and powers of attorney (he was in the end stages of cancer), and he signed over his motorcycle to his daughter. On the way back to the office, I thought about my brother's motorcycle, and Ratbastid in a plane (I'm afraid of planes crashing), and Bill dying, and just lost it. I got back to the office and was hyperventilating and crying so hard I couldn't breathe. I couldn't reach any of my friends, my boss (the only other person in my office) was back at home and I couldn't burden her with this given all she was going through. I ended up calling my mom and she had to talk me through it till I could breathe well enough to drive home without being afraid I'd faint and crash. I haven't had another one since, thank god.

Anyhow, the other thing that works for me besides relaxation and meditation exercises is valerian. I've found that when I'm on the edge of an attack I can sometimes stave it off by taking some valerian and drinking some tea. The tea is purely ceremonial - something about the hot water and the steam and inhaling it slowly calms me down till the valerian can kick in.

11-25-2003, 07:07 AM	#37 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	I started having panic attacks right after we bought our first house, about 5 years ago. I felt like having a house was such a huge responsibility, and that because we were living across the street from an apartment building and had "more" than they did, I felt like I would be punished for my good fortune somehow, that they'd hate me and something bad would happen. I couldn't leave the house, I didn't want anybody to see me, and the last straw that finally got me to therapy was when Ratbastid caught me crawling on the floor under the sightline of the windows so people couldn't see me. I swear I have NO memory of that, but I believe him. Some therapy helped - I learned progressive relaxation and meditation techniques, uncovered and learned how to derail some of the mental processes that caused the panic attacks, and pretty much licked them without meds. Then my brother died. I was already on meds for a mild depression that started last year, but the first time Ratbastid had to be away for the weekend, I had one. I had just gone to my boss's house to witness her husband Bill's will and living will and powers of attorney (he was in the end stages of cancer), and he signed over his motorcycle to his daughter. On the way back to the office, I thought about my brother's motorcycle, and Ratbastid in a plane (I'm afraid of planes crashing), and Bill dying, and just lost it. I got back to the office and was hyperventilating and crying so hard I couldn't breathe. I couldn't reach any of my friends, my boss (the only other person in my office) was back at home and I couldn't burden her with this given all she was going through. I ended up calling my mom and she had to talk me through it till I could breathe well enough to drive home without being afraid I'd faint and crash. I haven't had another one since, thank god. Anyhow, the other thing that works for me besides relaxation and meditation exercises is valerian. I've found that when I'm on the edge of an attack I can sometimes stave it off by taking some valerian and drinking some tea. The tea is purely ceremonial - something about the hot water and the steam and inhaling it slowly calms me down till the valerian can kick in. __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France Last edited by lurkette; 11-25-2003 at 07:11 AM..