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I am kept alive by revolt against the absurd (and this came before reading any Camus or other philosophy).
I realized that the fundamental problem of suicide couldn't be answered with "yes" when I was in 7th grade because it didn't get rid of the problem of not having a greater meaning to my life. Killing myself said "I don't know why I'm alive and it isn't worth it". Staying alive said "I don't know why I'm alive but I'm willing to keep searching because I don't know if it is worth it."
After reading "The Myth of Sisyphus" by Camus this put my rudamental philosophy is clear terms. If Sisyphus can engage in absurd meaningless activity for all eternity and be happy because he is doing it in scorn of his fate, then I can be happy doing things I choose for myself.
So, the short answer. Living in the face of knowing that existence is absurd gives me the power and strength to get through each day. My creativity and passion for making the most of my opportunities is key to making my life meaningful on a day to day basis. Now the idea of anything greater than myself governing for me a destiny or such I find abhorable... I'd much rather be on my own with no given answers. I'd like to create my own answers, one at a time.
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Innominate.
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