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Tophat665 · 11-21-2003, 05:25 AM

True, dat. Kosher grape juice, say 2 gallons, half a pound of sugar (or, better yet, 3 pounds of honey, preferably orange blossom) and 3 gallons water, with two packets of fleischmans yeast awakened for 15 minutes in 100 degree water. (Of course, if you can find good dry wine yeast on the ineternet or locally, do use that instead. It will make a world of difference and only costs about a buck a pack.) If you want to do this, though, do yourself a favor and get all of the water into a big kettle first, and bring it to a boil, then cut off the heat and pour the grape juice and sugar (and honey if you want to spring for the $10 that 3 lbs of good honey will cost you) and let it sit at 160 degrees or more (add more heat if it drops below) for at least a half an hour. This'll kill off any bugs in the juice and honey. Then take the kettle and put a lid on it and stick it in your sink or cooler or bathtub or kiddie pool, throw a couple 5 or 8 lbs of ice into the tub (not the kettle!) and run some water into the ice. Let it sit until the temp is down below 80 degrees, then pour it into your fermenting vessels.

Now, couple of things about fermenters: know you that yeast generates a ton of carbon dioxide, and that some strains also kick off a bunch of suphur. This means two things: 1) if you cap your fermenter tightly and do not leave a way for the gas to get out IT WILL EXPLODE, and you will have the brewer's unique joy of getting to use a mop on the fuckin' ceiling. 2) If the place where you have your fermenting wine starts to smell like a farting contest at a taffy pull, fret not: that's the yeast making suphur. Let it run it's course unless you want your wine to taste like boiled onions.

Because a capped fermenter can explode, I strongly reccommend that you spring for an airlock or two and aa brew pail or carboy and funnel if you're going to do this more than once. Any clean, cappable, odor free, food grade plastic bucket will do for a brewing pail. go to the hardware store and get a rubber grommet, a short length of pipe that'll fit through that grommet, and about 4' of vinyl tubing that'll fit over that pipe (and a little hose clamp if the tube doesn't fit tightly) Drill a hole in the bucket lid to fit the grommet, wet the pipe and slide it halfway through, put the hose over it (clamp it if it's loose), and stick the other end of the hose in a half full container of water (I use a tupperware pitcher, but a mason jar or milk jug'll do so long as it's clean). This'll make sure that more or less the only microbe eating the juice and shitting the booze will be the yeast you put in.

Think I'm concerned about bugs? Get the wrong kind in there and you won't be able to drink the stuff. Before you put anything into your bucket (or carboy or jugs or whatever) mix up a batch of bleach water, 2 oz regular or 1 oz concentrated bleach to 5 gallons warm water, and let that sit in contact with anything that is going to come into contact with your wine for at least a half hour. then rinse the bejeezus out of it until you can only smell tap water.

If you do decide to ferment in regular jugs of some sort, remember not to fill them all the way up: some yeasts form a bigass head of foam when they get to workin', and do something to keep the bugs out. Punching a hole in the cap and stuffing it with vodka soaked gauze or cotton wool will work. (of course, if you have vodka, you're not going to bother with this involved crap.) Don't use rubbing alcohol. Kitty Du Cocktails are not what you're trying for here.

After you get your young wine (it's technically called must) into your fermenters, but before you cap them, sprinkle your yeast onto a cup of 100 degree water and let it soak for 15 minutes. Stir it gently with a spoon (bleach and rinse the spoon first) and divide it equally among your fermenters.

Last step before you set it in a quiet, dark place and forget about it for a week: shake the heck out of the fermenters. The idea is to get the must saturated with oxygen for the yeast to breath. I shake my beer (or use a bleached egg beater on it) of a count of three hundred before capping it.

In about a month, decant it into whatever you're going to drink it from (bleach and rinse the serving vessels), leaving the sediment behind.

Enjoy your redneck wine.

11-21-2003, 05:25 AM	#13 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	True, dat. Kosher grape juice, say 2 gallons, half a pound of sugar (or, better yet, 3 pounds of honey, preferably orange blossom) and 3 gallons water, with two packets of fleischmans yeast awakened for 15 minutes in 100 degree water. (Of course, if you can find good dry wine yeast on the ineternet or locally, do use that instead. It will make a world of difference and only costs about a buck a pack.) If you want to do this, though, do yourself a favor and get all of the water into a big kettle first, and bring it to a boil, then cut off the heat and pour the grape juice and sugar (and honey if you want to spring for the $10 that 3 lbs of good honey will cost you) and let it sit at 160 degrees or more (add more heat if it drops below) for at least a half an hour. This'll kill off any bugs in the juice and honey. Then take the kettle and put a lid on it and stick it in your sink or cooler or bathtub or kiddie pool, throw a couple 5 or 8 lbs of ice into the tub (not the kettle!) and run some water into the ice. Let it sit until the temp is down below 80 degrees, then pour it into your fermenting vessels. Now, couple of things about fermenters: know you that yeast generates a ton of carbon dioxide, and that some strains also kick off a bunch of suphur. This means two things: 1) if you cap your fermenter tightly and do not leave a way for the gas to get out <b>IT <I>WILL</I> <FONT COLOR=ORANGE>EXPLODE</FONT></B>, and you will have the brewer's unique joy of getting to use a mop on the fuckin' ceiling. 2) If the place where you have your fermenting wine starts to smell like a farting contest at a taffy pull, fret not: that's the yeast making suphur. Let it run it's course unless you want your wine to taste like boiled onions. Because a capped fermenter can explode, I strongly reccommend that you spring for an airlock or two and aa brew pail or carboy and funnel if you're going to do this more than once. Any clean, cappable, odor free, food grade plastic bucket will do for a brewing pail. go to the hardware store and get a rubber grommet, a short length of pipe that'll fit through that grommet, and about 4' of vinyl tubing that'll fit over that pipe (and a little hose clamp if the tube doesn't fit tightly) Drill a hole in the bucket lid to fit the grommet, wet the pipe and slide it halfway through, put the hose over it (clamp it if it's loose), and stick the other end of the hose in a half full container of water (I use a tupperware pitcher, but a mason jar or milk jug'll do so long as it's clean). This'll make sure that more or less the only microbe eating the juice and shitting the booze will be the yeast you put in. Think I'm concerned about bugs? Get the wrong kind in there and you won't be able to drink the stuff. Before you put anything into your bucket (or carboy or jugs or whatever) mix up a batch of bleach water, 2 oz regular or 1 oz concentrated bleach to 5 gallons warm water, and let that sit in contact with anything that is going to come into contact with your wine for at least a half hour. then rinse the bejeezus out of it until you can only smell tap water. If you do decide to ferment in regular jugs of some sort, remember not to fill them all the way up: some yeasts form a bigass head of foam when they get to workin', and do something to keep the bugs out. Punching a hole in the cap and stuffing it with vodka soaked gauze or cotton wool will work. (of course, if you have vodka, you're not going to bother with this involved crap.) Don't use rubbing alcohol. Kitty Du Cocktails are not what you're trying for here. After you get your young wine (it's technically called <i>must</i>) into your fermenters, but before you cap them, sprinkle your yeast onto a cup of 100 degree water and let it soak for 15 minutes. Stir it gently with a spoon (bleach and rinse the spoon first) and divide it equally among your fermenters. Last step before you set it in a quiet, dark place and forget about it for a week: shake the heck out of the fermenters. The idea is to get the must saturated with oxygen for the yeast to breath. I shake my beer (or use a bleached egg beater on it) of a count of three hundred before capping it. In about a month, decant it into whatever you're going to drink it from (bleach and rinse the serving vessels), leaving the sediment behind. Enjoy your redneck wine. __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.