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No, you aren't being paranoid.
You are being realistic. And your wife seems to want you to know all this, which means if she is doing things behind your back, which, lets face it, she probably is, she is doing it just to spite you.
Talk to her, tell her how you feel. Ask her to be completely honest about how she feels. Seek counseling. And, if there are kids, remember their feelings.
But don't kid yourself. I do commend you for trying to stick to it and work things through, but that only works if there are two people trying. Time to face reality and do something about it.
Love sucks, because it can be one sided. Sounds like it is. Don't waste your time with someone who can't return the love and respect you give them.
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You don't know from fun.
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