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From my own experience, I think happily ever after entails both parties learning to adjust their automatic thought patterns a bit, and to give the other person some leeway. It took some doing, but I've learned not to think of my way as "right" and his way as "wrong," but rather think of our thought patterns as almost different languages, a communication barrier that needs to be gotten over by both of us making some adjustments. I had to learn that him not noticing small details didn't mean he didn't love me or wasn't committed or took me for granted; it just means he doesn't notice small details! Similarly, he had to learn that my wanting him to notice things didn't mean I wanted him to change or that I didn't love him the way he was; it just meant that those little details were important to me in a way that wasn't necessarily evident to him. Both parties have to be willing to work at it, though. Another trick is to not take everything so damned seriously! Dishes in the sink, while annoying, are much less important to me now than just loving my husband.
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
- Anatole France
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