Lost Confusion
I feel worthless.
My brain beating against the side of my skull...
Beating and I don’t feel it.
I wish there was a life...
A life past my own hatred.
My hatred for people. ..
My hatred for death...
My hatred for life...
My hatred for myself...
My hatred for hate...
What must I do to see reality as it is
And not as I perceive it to be?
I choke myself out...
I’m out cold and I don’t care.
What do I have to do...?
To make me love me...
What do I have to do...?
To make myself understand...
I feel so empty and alone...
I don’t want to be here...
I don’t want to be...
I feel dead to the world,
Dead while I decay in myself.
I’m falling to pieces and I don’t know why.
I crush my bones with my own hands and I don’t feel it.
I suffocate myself with my own thoughts and I still breathe.
I pierce my heart with my own words and I still stand.
Tears fall from my eyes
And I am filled with an infinite sadness.
My eyes are cast down
And melancholy takes over my being.
I make myself worthless because I don’t know...
Don’t know how to live...
Don’t know how to be...
Don’t know how to love...
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