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You may be paranoid about her cheating. While men have a near-constant desire to get in the pants of all those we're even halfway attracted to, women seem to have a lessened version of this desire (or can control it more readily.) Making accusations never helps.
Do seek counselling. If she is not cheating, then there is a strong chance (from what I've read above) that you could work something out. As has been said, communication is key. An outside party who has had proper training should be able to ask the questions that you aren't asking each other. A note on counselling, though: knowing why someone does something doesn't make the problem go away. If you can't remove the cause, you won't be successful. Be willing to compromise, but not to compromise who you are.
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