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How about this part:
"I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning."
I can picture someone thrashing their arms for help and the people on shore thinking they are waving. Kind of like when you hear someone and you think they are laughing, but really they are crying.
I used to work in Residence Life at my school, supervising the RA staff. It really was striking how sometimes kids get to college and are desperate for help. All the while the people around them think they are waving when really they are drowning. That was the real trick to the work, to pick out the drowning from the waving - there's a lot of background noise.
Mephisto, is this poet American, English, or from your part of the world or somewhere else? Just wondering... I like this idea for a thread.
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Cogito ergo spud -- I think, therefore I yam
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