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I don't think she's cheating on me, but I don't quite know why I think that. She knows exactly how much I despise cheating, but I guess when you tell someone that you set yourself up: since they know how much you hate it, do they not do it? Or do they just not tell you?
Anyway, I had a talk with her last night instead of this morning. I couldn't wait. We talked about a lot of things and mostly worked it out, and I admit I was caught up in the moment and probably gave in too easily. It was a pretty heated argument, and two more things she said which I'm thinking about now, and they only seem to reinforce everyone's notion of her as a psycho:
- She said she relies on friends and me to make her happy
- She said she hated that I wasn't possessive and wasn't jealous of her male friends
When she said it I was shocked, but now that I've had time to think about it, I'm really sad. We departed on a good note last night and decided we had worked it out, but now I'm having second thoughts. She knows I'm a fairly solitary person, and I can't seem to find a way to say that I don't "need" her to live without it sounding incredibly mean.
Some people here have said she has attachment issues, I think I've tried to deny it all along, but I don't think I can do that anymore. If she relies and is totally dependent on me for happiness, can't get through a few weeks of stress from studying, is insulted that I don't get jealous and that I'm not possessive, and brings up my ex-girlfriend in the argument and said maybe she wasn't in the wrong after all (she cheated on me twice), then I think things just aren't meant to be.
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