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A friend of mine and I actually posted something about this last spring but when tfp crashed last I think it was erased. We were having the exact same trouble as you were and our history was very similiar. Most of the responses we recieved were one, we needed some sort of drug to cure us or two, we needed therapy. I had done the therapy thing but it didn't work for me. My friend refused it. The meds option was not what either of us were looking for. I am happy to say now that I don't get sick anymore and neither does my friend. I think it just took us extra time to become comfortable with ourselves and the relationship we were in. We both ended up in wonderful relationships with very understanding partners. I think that is what helped us most. The best piece of advice I can give you is to not give up and make sure to talk with your lover. Communication is the key to most things in life.
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