I want you all to see what courage looks like
As many of you know, my brother was hit by a car back in April, and after two weeks in a coma he died. One of the many things that came up during the aftermath of Josh's death was whether to sue the driver for wrongful death. I persuaded my family not to, and in fact we wrote a letter (that you can see in my journal) to him telling him that we didn't didn't blame him, that it was just a dumb accident that could have happened to any of us, and that we wanted him to have a full and happy life.
We sent this letter back in September, and today I got a reply. I never expected one - what do you say to the family of a person you hit and killed?
Anyhow, I wanted to share the letter with you. I'm blown away by this guy's courage. He's about 25 - the same age as my brother - and he has no idea the gift he's given us by writing back
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Dear Marcy-
First and foremost, I extend my deepest condolences. I am truly sorry about Josh's death. I replay the memory of that night over and over and I can't help but feel terrible. If I wasn't driving down that street at that time, a life would not have been taken.
It has been difficult for me, yes. But I'm sure not half as difficult as it is for his loved ones. I wish there was something I can say or do to ease the pain of losing a brother, a son, a person of your own flesh and blood, but the fact remains, he has passed on.
Prior to reading Josh's life st ory and eulogy I had wondered if he had a wife and/or children. On one hand, I'm glad he didn't because they would be fatherless, on the other hand Josh will never be able to. I don't know what's worse.
Josh and I have some of the same passions: computers (specially his half-life interest), and X-games sports.
Huh, you're right, awkward and uncomfortable. But when I received your letter, I knew I had to write back. It wouldn't have been right not to.
I am awesomely amazed at your forgiveness. And I know that your family must have went through a painfull process to get to that conclusion. Thank you. But I still can't help but feel responsible. I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart. That night my friends and I were on our way home coming from another friend's house. Before that night I had plans to become an electrician. I was doing promoting work at the time, getting fed up with that. I was going to an apprenticeship program that offered paid training to teach me the ropes of electricity. I had always been fascinated with it. But now I think I am going to try something different. Maybe go to school to become a counselor. I've really been taking inventory of myself and my priorities since...you know. I have been greatly humbled. I realize now how precious life is, I've always known, but more so since.
I want you to know, I felt really bad for not contacting JOsh's family or saying anything, but I just did not know what to say, or in which way to say it.
I am going to bring this letter to an end now. I pray that your tears and loss is replaced by joy.
Sincerely, etc.
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So there you go. I'm really touched and I hope you are, too.
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
- Anatole France
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