emmdubbs

The Phone Call

I remember the day my phone rang, like it was just yesterday.
“Um, Hello,” I spoke in a monotone voice, wondering who in the hell would be calling at such a late
hour.
“How have you been sweety?”
Her voice long forgotten, echoed in my ears. “I’m fine,” I finally managed to collect my wandering
thoughts. “How in the hell have you been?”
“I’ve been better,” her voice trailed off, “I was in the hospital for a while.”
Shit, I thought, her cervical cancer must’ve gotten worse since the last time I saw her in November.
“Was it the cancer, babe?” I nervously asked.
“No, it’s not that. Do you remember psycho Chris, my ex? Well he beat me up pretty bad back in
January.”
I thought to myself, it’s March, why is she calling me now to tell me this? “He beat you up bad
enough to put you in the Emergency Room?”
I’ll never forget her response to that ill fated question.
“He beat me up bad enough, that he killed your child.”
Those words hung in the air. I felt myself die. The only words I could manage to mumble and stutter
was, “What?”
“He killed your child,” she said almost showing no remorse. “This was hanging on me for a while,
and I thought you needed to know. I have to go now, or I’m going to be late to work.”
“Well you can be late,” I shouted. “How can you just call me now, and leave, expecting me to be all
right with everything?”
“You think it’s hard for you? Do you know how long I held this on my chest? Were you the one in
the hospital?”
“Don’t yell at me Sonya, why didn’t you tell me sooner?” If I remember correctly, I was shaking all
over now, I don’t know if it was aggression, anger, or adrenaline.
“I was already hurt, by Chris and I wasn’t sure how you were going to react. But I have to go now. I
really am sorry that it had to happen like this, I know our child would’ve been beautiful.”
Click, dead air... I hung up the receiver with those words “He killed your child,” lingering in my
mind. I sat down, I swear I felt like I was going to pass out. I felt sick. She was pregnant with my child, and I
didn’t even know about it. My own flesh and blood, and now it wasn’t there. So many thoughts were running
through my mind. We used protection, could it have failed. Did she cheat on me? Was it really mine? Why
is she telling me now, and was she going to keep it a secret if this hadn’t happened?
I picked up the phone again, I had to call a friend and let out all my emotions. I don’t even remember
who I told or what I said. The only thing I do know for sure is that it affected my life. It changed the way I
looked at things, like I couldn’t take things for granted. Oh and the lies all the lies, I learned how to hate her,
how to loathe her. She changed everything about me. I don’t know if these changes were necessarily good,
but I do know that this was a harsh slap into reality. She opened up all these new feelings in my life. The
woman I experienced my first love with, I would learn to hate. She was the inspiration, for me to channel all
of my anger into my writing.
So yeah, I remember the ill fated day my phone rang. If I knew then what I knew now, I think I still
would have picked it up. And I still find it amazing how only two minutes can change a lifetime.


this happend when i was 18, that night i picked up my pen and started what would become the greatest outlet of my thoughts.
to this day i still don't talk to her, we reconsiled a year or 2 ago, i saw her, and forgave her. but thats it. that was the end

__________________
"You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world." - Tyler Durden