Quote:
Originally posted by XenuHubbard
I feel that revenge is usually pointless. I prefer confrontation. In your situation, it may have been wiser to actually talk to the guy.
As for violence never solving anything - in some occasions it actually does. But you have to make damn sure it is the last resort until you take that step. And not for the sake of revenge.
Sun Tzu - as for what you did, I don't see how it would help your lady friend. This whole ordeal was about her in the first place, right?
Your objective should have been to get him off her back from day one. Trying to hurt the guy because HE pissed YOU off, doesn't really make sense.
I'm not saying I would have been more mature about it, but I definetely wouldn't have done it the way you did it.
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I did confront him verbally; in person, by certified mail, by email. When I was informed he approached her daughter at her school is when I confronted him physically. Actually I approached him and his associate at his residence. That’s the one night I spent in jail. As a result of him being charged with violating a restraining order by approaching the little girl, and being forced to attend an anger management course (not to mention an extremely expensive attorney) the charges were dropped. His friend did not press charges for reasons I won’t go into.
The fact he approached a child, even for reasons in possibly alarming her mom is creepy enough for me to make certain assumptions. Men (or adults in general) that don’t have children going to a school and don’t have official duties have no business lerping about talking to the kids. She would have yelled stranger but she didn’t because of knowing him. In my eyes that’s not only violating a restraining order, but the innocence of a child.
This is a case where law enforcement has failed. The guy has been pretty slick in his harassment tactics so there’s little they could do. I don’t know if I've ruined his name, but I know there are more eyes on him now. So far I haven’t seen any legal trouble from what I did. I’m helping my friend move to an undisclosed location this weekend. Should there be any further harassment by this person I will not become involved or go anywhere near him, nor do anything of a harmful nature to him physically, psychologically, or socially. That’s all I will comment on that.
I appreciate all the feedback, even the "shame on you"s, but I didn’t mean to bring the negative energy to the forum. I feel bad because I might have planted a flame foundation here, not my intention at all. Debate is cool I just hope arguments don’t start because of a thread I started.
I think all of the people I seen post in this thread and most in other threads sound like decent people that are checked in to the world around them. For the gents that are starting to get elevated, I'll just comment on this: it’s good to have a belief system in the way an intended control of feelings, emotions, and actions will be in a threatening or confrontational situation. 3 years ago I wouldn’t have seen myself doing the things I did.
Personally I have to say it was different when it was reality and I saw someone I love being hurt. Not once, but repeatedly. I hope no one here has to put their values and self control to the test; it truly feels like a dammed if you do / dammed if you don’t scenario.
Thanks again everyone for offering your opinions; they are all valued.