Plan9Senior

Lesson: The Art of Approaching Women PART 1: (prepare for a long lesson)

Approaching women in itself is easy, it’s getting the courage to do it that seems to hold people back. A guy sees a girl he wants to approach, makes eye contact, and then, instead of approaching, does one of two things:

1. Thinks it over
They sit there and analyze all the possible outcomes. What if she doesn’t fall madly in love with them? What if she is having a bad day? What if she’s a lesbian? The girl notices the guy, but he is sitting there thinking it over (wasting time). If he eventually does approach, the girl thinks of him as a wuss because he took to long. This guy obviously has 0 confidence.

2. Sits there trying to come up with a witty line
I’ve been there. My entire life I’ve seen girls I would have loved to get them, looked at them, THOUGHT about approaching, but instead, sat there trying to come up with a witty line. This causes a few problems. A) You’re wasting time. If you ever do approach, you look like a guy with no confidence and B). You won’t think of a witty line. And if you somehow do, you have too many odds against you because if the girl isn’t gone, then she realizes you have to little confidence to see something you want and go get it.

To those of you who are afraid of rejection, here are some comforting points

1. Every PUA has been rejected. It happens. It’s like wanting to learn the guitar, but then holding back because you might play the wrong chord on accident or you might drop your pick.
2. Rejection is a learning experience. It helps fine-tune your game so your chances of getting rejected drop as you go on
3. Girls aren’t rejecting you because of your looks (unless you’re just hideous), you just did something wrong or were a little nervous and they picked up on it. That’s why the more you approach; the less you’ll actually get rejected. You’ll improve on these things.
4. Girls are usually pretty nice when you approach, as long as you avoid saying something vulgar or just walking up and saying, “I want to fuck you.” The worst rejection you may ever get is, “I have a boyfriend” or, “Why don’t you give me your number.” What is so scary about that? (there are good responses to both by the way)

Now, here is the big rumor that people seem to believe when they either consider approaching girls or when they start doing it. They think that they need some kind of pick-up line or impressive opener to be successful. That’s just not true. In all honesty, it doesn’t matter what you say to a girl when you approach; you just have to say something…ANYTHING. You can pick-up girls no problem by just walking up and saying, “Hi” with a smile. The problem now is following this up with conversation (which I’ll get into later).

Now, imagine being at the mall and there are all sorts of HB’s there. If you’ve ever really paid attention, how many guys have you actually seen approaching a girl? I don’t think I’ve ever actually witnessed it. If you’re scared of people noticing you trying to do a pickup, I don’t think you should have a problem. Nobody would even pick-up on it. But, not only that, most guys DON’T approach girls. They go to the mall with a group of friends and just walk around trying to look cool. They look at girls, they whisper to their friends, then, they go home thinking about how hot that girl was.

Another interesting point: YOU reject girls ALL THE TIME, you just don’t know it. How many girls have you ever seen look at you and smile and you just kept walking? That’s a rejection bro. If you don’t approach a girl who is begging you to, you’re rejecting her. You probably never even picked up on the signals (I know I used to never even notice them, and now they’re so easy to spot), but you reject them. And think of how bad girls have it that they have to go home wondering if they’re ugly because they didn’t get approached. Lets say you’re walking around the mall and you notice this ugly girl is looking at you. You make eye contact (accidentally) then quickly look away. Why…because you’re not interested. Now if this were a HB, you would’ve kept eye contact and most likely smiled. Smiling is a clear “come talk to me” indicator for cold approaches. All us guys go initially for looks on a girl; lucky for any of you who aren’t so good-looking that girls go for personality


PART 2:

Ok, now that you have some confidence and see that this is really easy, lets get into some different ways of approaching.

Approaching can be broken into the following steps:

1. Spotting out the target. You have 3 seconds to approach, so make sure you notice all the details in those 3 seconds. Maybe something interesting she’s wearing if you want to do one of those approaches.
2. Approaching the target and getting her attention. This is called an opener. Avoid canned pick-up lines.
3. You got some kind of response from the target. You scan for body language, facial expressions, eye contact, and anything else to get an overall sense of interest level (depending on your approach there may not be any interest level yet. Don’t give up)
4. Your response to her response.
5. Small talk
6. Close

Hopefully that seems logical to you. Now, how do you actually approach a girl? Get her attention, then once you do, talk about ANYTHING that’s not boring. Good topics would be something going on at that moment around you, something you noticed about her (NOT LOOKS), or anything any regular guy wouldn’t talk about.