Poyzun_Ivy

I hate the ending I wrote for this... any suggestions for something better than what it is, or them splitting?

-+ Ivy +-


SOME LIKE IT SADO-MASOCHISTIC
By Poyzun_Ivy (credited with real name on webpage)
Copyright 2003

VICKY: What time is it?

DAVYN: 8:30.

VICKY: Fuck…

DAVYN: What?

VICKY: It's like time's standing still… the night's never
gonna end.

DAVYN: Huh…

(pause)

VICKY: Stop that.

DAVYN: Stop what?

VICKY: That!

DAVYN: I have no idea what you're talking abou-

VICKY: That thing you're doing. That 'click' thing… you do
it all the time, you're driving me nuts!

DAVYN: Sorry, I just do it, okay?

VICKY: Well quit it!

DAVYN: I'll try.

(pause)

VICKY: You're doing it again!

DAVYN: Jesus! I'm sorry… you have nervous habits too, you
know.

VICKY: Bullshit!… like what?

DAVYN: You bite your nails.

VICKY: So?

DAVYN: You jiggle your legs while you're sitting.

VICKY: Your poi-

DAVYN: You play with your hair, you grit your teeth, you
make weird niffing noises in your sleep…

VICKY: You know what? Fuck you.

DAVYN: Fuck you!

(pause)

VICKY: You know, no one's making you stay here. You can
just leave whenever the hell you want.

DAVYN: Is that a hint?

VICKY: No, motherfucker, it's a requst.

DAVYN: Fine.

(DAVYN starts to leave)

VICKY: Wait… shit…

DAVYN: What?

VICKY: I… don't leave?

DAVYN: What the… you just told me to get out!

VICKY: I know, but… damnit, don't leave.

DAVYN: Why?

VICKY: What do you mean 'why'? I'm asking you not to leave.

DAVYN: You just fucking told me to get out, and now you're
fucking begging me not to leave??

VICKY: Please?

DAVYN: For chrissakes…
(DAVYN sits down, facing away from VICKY)

(pause)

VICKY: You're doing it again…

DAVYN: For fuck's sake, will you quit BITCHING?

VICKY: I'm sorry, it's just… annoying.

DAVYN: Well ignore it.

VICKY: I can't, I tried.

DAVYN: Then I'm leaving.

VICKY: No! Don't… please don't go.

DAVYN: Well why the hell not?

VICKY: Just… just because, alright?

DAVYN: Fine… but no bitching about the clicking?

VICKY: No bitching.

(pause)

VICKY: What time is it?

DAVYN: 8:40

VICKY: Only 8:40?!

DAVYN: Only 8:40

VICKY: Jesus…

(pause)

VICKY: How long have we been together?

DAVYN: What?

VICKY: How long have we been together? Dating, I mean…

DAVYN: A few months, I guess…

VICKY: A few MONTHS?

DAVYN: Well, yeah, something like that…

VICKY: 23 months, 29 days!

DAVYN: Jesus christ, that long?

VICKY: Yes, 'that long'…

DAVYN: Well fuck… I'm sorry…

VICKY: Time really flies, doesn't it?

DAVYN: Mmhmm…

(pause)

VICKY: What time is it?

DAVYN: You just asked me…

VICKY: I know, but I'm asking again.

DAVYN: 8:43

VICKY: Oh god…

DAVYN: Well what did you expect?

VICKY: I guess… well… not much later than that…

DAVYN: So are you gonna keep asking me every three minutes?

VICKY: No, I just… I want it to be tomorrow.

DAVYN: What's so special about tomorrow.

VICKY: Nothing.

DAVYN: Then why do you WANT it to be tomorrow?

VICKY: Look you sonofabitch, if you have to ask you'll
never know.

DAVYN: Fine.

(pause)

VICKY: What-

DAVYN: 8:46, for god's sake, do you have to keep asking me
every fucking second?

VICKY: I wasn't going to ask what time it was, you fucking
bastard!

(VICKY starts to get up to go into a back room)

DAVYN: Oh god, fuck… baby? Baby, I'm sorry… I'm sorry,
okay?

VICKY: Goddamnit, just leave me alone.

DAVYN: No… baby… I'm sorry… I shouldn'ta yelled at you,
okay?

VICKY: I said leave me alone! Get out! Just fucking leave
me alone!

DAVYN: Fine, fine, I'm going… fuck…

VICKY: Wait…

DAVYN: What? What now?

VICKY: Forget it… just go…

DAVYN: Fuck you.

VICKY: Yeah? Well up yours!

(DAVYN starts to leave, stops)

DAVYN: What are we doing?

VICKY: What?

DAVYN: I said what the fuck are we DOING? We have no reason
to be like this.

VICKY: You pissed me off, isn't that enough reason?

DAVYN: Well, no. You've got no reason to BE pissed off.

VICKY: I do.

DAVYN: What is it?

VICKY: None of your business.

DAVYN: What the fuck.

VICKY: What's your problem?

DAVYN: You're doing that again.

VICKY: Doing WHAT?

DAVYN: One of those annoying girl things.

VICKY: Annoying girl things, huh?

DAVYN: Yeah, what the hell crawled up YOUR crotch this
month?

VICKY: Oh FUCK YOU!! Haven't I TOLD YOU to GET OUT??

DAVYN: Yeah, and I'm not going.

VICKY: Get out.

DAVYN: Nope.

VICKY: Get out.

DAVYN: Fuck you.

VICKY: GET OUT.

DAVYN: You might as well quit screaming, I'm not leaving.

VICKY: I'm calling the police.

DAVYN: For what?

VICKY: To have them get rid of you.

DAVYN: It's OUR apartment. They can't just throw me out.

VICKY: I'll tell them you've been hitting me.

DAVYN: Bullshit, you have no marks.

VICKY: I'll make some.

DAVYN: How?

VICKY: With a curling iron.

DAVYN: Oh, so I've been beating you with the curling iron?

VICKY: Exactly.

DAVYN: You realize the cord is only three feet long?

VICKY: So? You held me down.

DAVYN: You're ridiculous.

VICKY: I'm clever.

DAVYN: You're psychotic.

VICKY: Fuck you.

(pause)

DAVYN: Well?

VICKY: What.

DAVYN: Aren't you going to call the police?

VICKY: No.

DAVYN: But I'm hitting you with the curling iron!!

VICKY: Oh fuck off.

(pause)

VICKY: What time is it?

DAVYN: 9:01

VICKY: Time flies when you're having fun.

DAVYN: No shit.

(pause)

VICKY: So are you leaving or not?

DAVYN: No.

VICKY: Fuck you.

DAVYN: You too.

VICKY: Why are you doing this to me?

DAVYN: I'm not doing anything.

VICKY: You're not leaving.

DAVYN: Right.

VICKY: I want you to go.

DAVYN: No you don't.

VICKY: I do.

DAVYN: You're full of shit.

VICKY: Well how the fuck do you know?

DAVYN: Because I KNOW you.

VICKY: Oh do you?

DAVYN: Yes.

VICKY: Prove it.

DAVYN: What the fuck do you mean 'prove it'?

VICKY: Exactly what I said. Prove how well you 'know me'.

DAVYN: You coo when you snore.

VICKY: What?!


DAVYN: You COO when you SNORE. Like a cartoon character or
something… it's cute.

VICKY: I coo?

DAVYN: Yeah… sometimes at night I wake up and watch you
sleep. You're very peaceful… beautiful.

VICKY: You do?

DAVYN: Like I said, sometimes.

VICKY: That's… that's sweet…

DAVYN: And every now and then you have this little half-
smile on your face and you look so happy…

VICKY: Davyn?

DAVYN: What?

VICKY: Shut up.

DAVYN: What?!

VICKY: Just… be quiet… what time is it?

DAVYN: Who cares?

VICKY: Me. What time is it??

DAVYN: That time.

VICKY: Oh fuck you, just tell me.

DAVYN: No.

VICKY: Well fine. I'll check myself.

(VICKY leaves the room to find a clock)

DAVYN: (mimicking) Fiiine, I'll check myseeelllf.

VICKY: (offstage) I heard that!

DAVYN: I know.

VICKY: (coming back into the room) It's 9:07, so there.

DAVYN: (again, mimicking) So theeere!

VICKY: Fuck you.

DAVYN: You know you love me.

VICKY: So?

DAVYN: You love me, no matter just how bitchy you are.

VICKY: You're a bastard.

(pause)

VICKY: Maybe I don't.

DAVYN: Don't what?

VICKY: Maybe I don't love you.

DAVYN: Sure you don't.

VICKY: Well what if I didn't.

DAVYN: Impossible.

VICKY: Bullshit.

(pause)

DAVYN: So…

VICKY: So?

DAVYN: Do you?

VICKY: Do I what?

DAVYN: Love me.

VICKY: No.

DAVYN: You're lying.

VICKY: I'm not.

DAVYN: You are. You're a lying little bitch!

VICKY: Fuck you.

DAVYN: Do you love me?

VICKY: Leave me alone.

DAVYN: Do you love me?

VICKY: Fuck off!!

DAVYN: Do you love me?!

VICKY: Yes, you fucking sonofabitchbastard, I love you.

DAVYN: Good.

(pause)

DAVYN: I love you too.

VICKY: Oh fuck you… fuck you fuck you fuck you.

DAVYN: Like I said, I love you too.

VICKY: You're such an asshole.

DAVYN: And you love me for it.

VICKY: Fucker.

DAVYN: (sing-song) You love me, you love me, you love me
love me looove me.

VICKY: Someday I won't.

DAVYN: Maybe. But right now you do.

VICKY: Tomorrow I might not.
DAVYN: Yeah, but I doubt it.

VICKY: You're a jackass.

DAVYN: I love you.

VICKY: Fuck that.

(pause)

VICKY: What time is it?

DAVYN: 9:16

VICKY: Wow… we should argue more often.

DAVYN: What, you enjoy it?

VICKY: Sure. It sorta turns me on.

DAVYN: You're shitting me.

VICKY: No, really… it's sort of sexy when you're commanding.

DAVYN: Oh really?

VICKY: Mmhmm… c'mere, big boy.

(VICKY grabs DAVYN. They start kissing. As it gets heated, she throws him off.)

DAVYN: What the fuck?!

VICKY: You're so gullable.

DAVYN: You can't play that way.

VICKY: Why the hell not?

DAVYN: You're gonna end up blue-balling me.

VICKY: So?

DAVYN: Bitch.

VICKY: But you love me for it.

DAVYN: You're still a bitch.

VICKY: You say it like its a bad thing.

(pause)

VICKY: What time is it?

DAVYN: Will you fucking cut that out?

VICKY: No… now I'm doing it just to piss you off. You know how I am,
remember?

DAVYN: Oh yeah, I know… 9:18--

VICKY: What's that supposed to mean?

DAVYN: 9:18? Nine-eighteen pm, Forty-two minutes until 10 o'clock at
night. 21:18…

VICKY: No, fucker. What do you mean 'you know'?

DAVYN: Well I've been screwing you for long enough, I should hope I
know.

VICKY: Asshole.

DAVYN: Yes I am.

(pause)

VICKY: You know, I don't think I'd mind if you just got the fuck out
now.

DAVYN: Then I will.

VICKY: Good.

DAVYN: Gonna call the police, too?

VICKY: I might.

DAVYN: Maybe I should just wait for them. Switch it on you and tell
them YOU were hitting ME with the curling iron.

VICKY: Hey, how about I actually do it so you don't have to lie?

DAVYN: Oh baby, hurt me, you know how I like it.

VICKY: Fuck off.

DAVYN: Beat me! Whip me! Hit me, hit me!

VICKY: Augh! Go away!

DAVYN: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but WHIPS AND CHAINS
EXCITE ME!

VICKY: FUCK YOU!

(again they 'jump' each other and start kissing - DAVYN pushes VICKY away)

VICKY: Fuck!

DAVYN: Not now, I'm not in the mood.

VICKY: Asshole… why are we so dysfunctional?

DAVYN: Are you complaining?

VICKY: No! I mean, yes! Oh, fuck you. What time is it?

DAVYN: 9:25

VICKY: Fuck. (flops into chair)

(pause)

VICKY: I hate you.

DAVYN: You do not.

VICKY: I do. I hate you.

DAVYN: You hate to love me.

VICKY: I love to hate you.

DAVYN: Oh no. You love the idea of hating me, but you hate it because
you love me instead.

VICKY: Fucker.

(DAVYN laughs)

VICKY: What time is it?

DAVYN: It's that time.

VICKY: What?

DAVYN: It's THAT time.

VICKY: That time.

DAVYN: Yes.

VICKY: Does that mean you can LEAVE now?

DAVYN: If that's what you want.

VICKY: Yes. Go.

DAVYN: Are you sure?

VICKY: Yes.

DAVYN: Are you REALLY sure?

VICKY: Fuck you, yes!

DAVYN: Alright, then I'm leaving.

VICKY: Good, good riddance.

DAVYN: When can I come pick up my things?

VICKY: What?

DAVYN: So I can move out, when can I come get my things?

VICKY: But--

DAVYN: But what?

VICKY: I don't… you don't have to move out…

DAVYN: You told me to get out.

VICKY: I just meant for now… you don't need to go overboard.

(pause)

DAVYN: Well maybe I want to leave.

VICKY: Fine. I can't stop you.

DAVYN: Then I'll pick my things up tomorrow.

VICKY: Fine.

DAVYN: Fine.

(pause)

VICKY: You don't actually want to leave me like this, do you?

DAVYN: Maybe I do.

(pause)

DAVYN: Do you want me to--

VICKY: No.

(pause)

VICKY: Davyn?

DAVYN: Yeah?

VICKY: What time is it?

DAVYN: Oh god…

VICKY: Just tell me?

DAVYN: 9:35

VICKY: Thanks.

(pause)

DAVYN: Would you actually call the cops on me?

VICKY: Probably not…

DAVYN: Why?

VICKY: Because I--

DAVYN: You love me.

VICKY: I did NOT say that!

DAVYN: You were going to.

VICKY: How do you know?

DAVYN: Because I do.

VICKY: Fuck you.

DAVYN: Is that a request or a command?

VICKY: You're a bastard.

DAVYN: How'd you know?

VICKY: Your mom told me.

DAVYN: Bitch.

(pause)

VICKY: Why am I a bitch?

DAVYN: You tell me.

VICKY: No, why am I a bitch if you're the one being an asshole?

DAVYN: I'm only an asshole to counter you being a bitch.

VICKY: Oh bullshit.

DAVYN: Baby, why are we fighting?

VICKY: Don't start that shit again. It's because you're being an ass!

DAVYN: Fuck you, baby.

VICKY: Fuck you too.

(pause)

DAVYN: Was it good?

VICKY: What?

DAVYN: The fuck you just got. Was it good?

VICKY: Your fucks are always lousy.

DAVYN: See, you ARE a bitch.

(pause)

VICKY: What time--

DAVYN: Fuck off.

VICKY: Get out.

DAVYN: No.

VICKY: And why the fuck not?

DAVYN: Because I'm going to stay here JUST to make you miserable.

VICKY: I said get out.

DAVYN: I said no.

VICKY: Fuck you.

DAVYN: Fuck you!

(they start kissing again - VICKY shoves DAVYN off)

VICKY: I'm not letting you start that shit again.

DAVYN: Cocktease!

VICKY: Motherfucker!

DAVYN: Slut!

VICKY: Asshole!

(they start kissing, again VICKY shoves DAVYN away)

VICKY: Fuck this, no!

DAVYN: What??

VICKY: I'm not gonna let it end like this. Not again!

DAVYN: Why not, it's a fund end to an argument… I think the best sex
we've ever had comes from shit like this.

VICKY: Fuck you.

(pause)

VICKY: What time is it?

DAVYN: No.

VICKY: Just tell me, what time is it?

DAVYN: No, bitch.

VICKY: Fuck off, what TIME IS IT?

DAVYN: Will you marry me?

(beat)

VICKY: What?

DAVYN: (pause, quieter) I was going to wait until tomorrow… our
anniversary and all…

VICKY: I thought you forgot--

DAVYN: Because you're a bitch, no will you marry me?

(beat)

VICKY: No.

DAVYN: NO?!

VICKY: No.

DAVYN: Why the hell not?

VICKY: You're not doing it right.

DAVYN: Fuck you.

(pause)

VICKY: Well?

DAVYN: Well what?

VICKY: I'm waiting.

DAVYN: I'm not going to humor you, Vicky.

VICKY: Fine… get out.

(DAVYN stands up, starts to head out the door, turns back, goes to VICKY, kneels, and pulls a ringbox from his pocket.)

DAVYN: Vicky… will you marry me?

VICKY: You're such an asshole… oh god… yes… fuck you… yes!

<the embrace, kiss, blackout>