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I've been in a similar situation. Wasn't cheated on like this, so it might be too different to compare... but... there was an extended crush, an ex, and unfinished feelings.
All I can say to you is this:
You will NOT find peace with this relationship if you can't trust the girl. Give up? No.
Set her down so to speak. Let her go. Break off all communication for a while. How long is up to you. I'm not advocating being an asshole about it, tell her about your plans.
The old adage holds true. If you love her, set her free. If she comes back to you she's yours. If she doesn't, it was not meant to be. Then you can be at peace knowing this.
You and her both definetly need some alone time before you tackle this.
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