Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - What do you do when you see parents beat their kids in public?

skysooner · 10-28-2003, 06:27 AM

Like someone said above, unless you have kids and have been through the trials that go with it, it is a bit bold to be saying that you don't know how to raise your kids if you have to resort to spanking. There are at least a few situations that require it. I have 2 completely different children. The first is a trial. He has what is called Asperger's syndrome which is a form of high-functioning autism. It is not classical autism in the sense that he is turned outwards. In fact he is very social, but he doesn't always know how to respond appropriately (i.e. he doesn't learn social rules the way that others do). I won't go into a bunch of detail unless people want to know about it. My youngest is just a normal little boy (although a bit bull-headed).

My oldest was spanked frequently as a 3 year old until we realized that a combination of punishments worked the best. A combination of time out, removal of his computer, and spanking has proven to be the best remedy for him. He is doing well in school, and other parents frequenly rave about what a good kid he is. I won't go into other parents in our neighborhood who won't punish their kids appropriately and who we have had in our house. They were little monsters until we laid down the law for them (and I'm not referring to spanking other people's kids) when they are in our house. These are just normal kids whose parents don't discipline them in any way. When you provide them a framework in which to act, they respond very well. Our oldest (now 7) receives a combination of reward (earns stars on a chart when he does things that we want him to do which he can then trade in for things he wants to buy) and a combination of punishment (time out, spanking (over the clothes and usually just once), removal of computer/tv rights, and one of the most effective is the hold his chin while we get down on his level to explain in his face the bad behavior he has just done). What has happened is that we spanked roughly 10% of the level we used to do, because he knows how to behave (and we rarely have to go to that level). The 4 year old only has to be threatened with it (I recall spanking him twice lightly) since he knows what the consequences are.

10-28-2003, 06:27 AM	#24 (permalink)
skysooner Registered User Location: Oklahoma	Like someone said above, unless you have kids and have been through the trials that go with it, it is a bit bold to be saying that you don't know how to raise your kids if you have to resort to spanking. There are at least a few situations that require it. I have 2 completely different children. The first is a trial. He has what is called Asperger's syndrome which is a form of high-functioning autism. It is not classical autism in the sense that he is turned outwards. In fact he is very social, but he doesn't always know how to respond appropriately (i.e. he doesn't learn social rules the way that others do). I won't go into a bunch of detail unless people want to know about it. My youngest is just a normal little boy (although a bit bull-headed). My oldest was spanked frequently as a 3 year old until we realized that a combination of punishments worked the best. A combination of time out, removal of his computer, and spanking has proven to be the best remedy for him. He is doing well in school, and other parents frequenly rave about what a good kid he is. I won't go into other parents in our neighborhood who won't punish their kids appropriately and who we have had in our house. They were little monsters until we laid down the law for them (and I'm not referring to spanking other people's kids) when they are in our house. These are just normal kids whose parents don't discipline them in any way. When you provide them a framework in which to act, they respond very well. Our oldest (now 7) receives a combination of reward (earns stars on a chart when he does things that we want him to do which he can then trade in for things he wants to buy) and a combination of punishment (time out, spanking (over the clothes and usually just once), removal of computer/tv rights, and one of the most effective is the hold his chin while we get down on his level to explain in his face the bad behavior he has just done). What has happened is that we spanked roughly 10% of the level we used to do, because he knows how to behave (and we rarely have to go to that level). The 4 year old only has to be threatened with it (I recall spanking him twice lightly) since he knows what the consequences are.