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Sounds like they're being coddled. I love how it ends with;
"Hanks, after building a ramshackle raft, escapes and is rescued. "
Shutup bitch, rescued from learning math and watching movies? I want to kick that journalist in the nuts.
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"I went shopping last night at like 1am. The place was empty and this old woman just making polite conversation said to me, 'where is everyone??' I replied, 'In bed, same place you and I should be!' Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look." --Some guy
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